


The Speaker

by dashesofink



Series: The Speaker [1]
Category: The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: F/M, The Hobbit - Freeform, The Hobbit fanfic, The Hobbit fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-30
Updated: 2019-10-13
Packaged: 2020-11-08 03:27:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 25,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20828633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dashesofink/pseuds/dashesofink
Summary: Accompanying a group of 15 across the lands of Middle Earth was never something you dreamed of doing, especially after waking up in a strange forest. Yet after being found by a group of dwarves, you find yourself following after a Dwarven King and his company to reclaim a mountain. You had expected the hardships and battles that you all faced on the journey; however, the last thing you expected was finding someone along the way who would steal your heart away for himself, all while giving you the key to his own.





	1. Into the New World

Never had your throat ached like this before. It hurt to speak, not that you really wanted to at the moment. Fear bounced around in your chest as you looked at the group of men in front of you, eyes wide with fright and confusion as you pushed yourself as far away from them as possible. You could hear the blood rushing through your veins in your aching head as you looked around through bleary eyes, the bright green leaves contrasting heavily with the dark outerwear and weapons that these men, extremely short and rough looking, men wore. You could hear their murmurs as they looked between your shivering body and the towering man behind them, their eyes not any less scrutinizing as they turned their backs to you.

_Where the hell am I?!_ You wanted to scream out, to yell at them for bringing you here, to beg them to tell you where you were and what had happened. But you couldn’t. Your voice was caught in your throat, a terrified sob taking its place as you brought your scraped knees to your chest. You had been too caught up in your thoughts that you failed to notice the large-footed man step towards you, your head buried in between your knees and eyes squeezed shut as you tried your hardest to even out your heavy breathing. A hand was suddenly placed against your shoulder, your head suddenly coming into contact with the bark of the tree painfully as you snapped you head towards him.

“Woah, hey, i-its alright.” The little man spoke quietly as he knelt in front of your quivering figure, a ghost of a smile forming on his lips as he raised his hands in a way to show you that he meant no harm. You bright eyes darted between him and the others behind him, catching the looks of disdain many of them were shooting you before your arms tightened around your knees again, fear ravaging your body as you looked back to him with wide eyes. The man cleared his throat as he held his hand out, the smile on his lips nothing but warm and welcoming. “I’m Bilbo Baggins. Can you tell us your name?”

“Bilbo!”

“Oh she is absolutely terrified, Thorin!” The man, Bilbo, snapped his head towards the one who had spoken with a warning, his eyes narrowing at the dark-haired king. Thorin only rolled his eyes at the statement, his grip tightening on his sword as he kept his gaze on your shaking figure. Terrified or not, who knows what you could do to him and his company.

“Don’t mind him.” Bilbo turned back to you suddenly. His hand came to rest gently upon your knee as he gave it a small reassuring pat. “Now, may I ask for your name again?”

Truly you tried to speak. Your tongue came darting out to wet your chapped lips before you opened your mouth to speak, but it was as if something had kept you from doing so, your words once again getting caught in your throat. Your eyes went wide as you shook your head, your trembling fingers grasping at your throat as tears began to well-up in your already bloodshot eyes. Bilbo’s eyes widened at the frantic movements, his hands resting gently against your shoulders as he turned back to the company.

“Has anyone got some paper and a quill?” His eyes blew wide as he looked towards Ori, however the scribe hid from out of view for a moment before Bilbo looked to the tall man towards the back for help. The wizard looked to the hobbit in confusion, his staff tapping against the ground as he stepped closer to the two of you. Bilbo rolled his eyes as he felt a groan bubble in the back of his throat, and he stood to his feet as threw his hands lightly into the air. “I don’t think she can speak.” He explained, his eyes dancing back to your shivering figure before looking back to the group. “Well? We’re asking for her name yet she cannot speak…” He looked expectantly towards the company before he let out a sigh, but before he could turn his back to them, he was surprised to see Kili step forward, a blank sheet of paper in hand as Fili followed behind with a quill.

“Here.” The brothers stopped besides the hobbit as they looked down to you, each one with a look of fascination in their eyes before they reached forward to hand you the paper and quill. Your eyes were still wide as you looked up to the two men, your heart racing with anticipation until the one with a bow strapped to his back took another step forward and held out the single sheet of paper. “Take it.” He stated softly, his lips turning into a smile as he slowly reached forward to grasp your fingers with his own.

You could feel your body tense at the sudden touch, your breath catching in your throat as he uncurled your fingers to set the paper into your palm. You kept your eyes locked with his brown ones as he did so, fingers trembling under his grasp before he gave the back of your hand a small pat. “My name’s Kili,” He suddenly spoke, his head bobbing to the side as a blonde man suddenly appeared next to him. “This is my brother, Fili.” Kili’s brother also reached forward, the quill in his hand suddenly being thrust into your trembling fingers as they both smiled at you. You looked between the two men, your tremors slowing just a bit as you felt the weight of the quill and paper in your hands for a moment before you looked between the two items.

Your gaze suddenly went to Bilbo as he stood behind the two brothers. His eyes were warm as he nodded reassuringly, and before he turned away to walk back towards the towering man in grey he gave both Fili and Kili a pat on the shoulder. Hesitantly your gaze fell to the ground floor, eyes dancing from the scattered leaves and to your already dusty old shoes before you finally looked to the paper in your hands. You slowly raised the tip of the quill to the blank sheet of paper, the ink staining the item as your fingers shakily scribbled out your name as best as you could. You glanced up to the brothers as they now sat in front of your huddled form, your heart suddenly racing when you met the eyes of the blonde one. Hurriedly you looked back down to the paper, your scribbling coming to a stop as your hair created a protective shield around your flushed face.

“Well? What’s the lasses name?”

You jumped a bit at the gruff voice, your eyes widening in fear for a moment before you thrust the paper into Kili’s awaiting hands. He gave a small nod as he fumbled with the paper, his eyes scanning what you had written down before he craned his head to look back at the company. “Her name is y/n.” He spoke to the company, a small hum coming from the grey-clothed man as he nodded his head in recognition. You eyed the taller man wearily as he looked to you, your eyes catching the sturdy looking staff in his hands before you looked back to the brothers in front of you.

“Do you know how you got here, y/n?”

It was Fili who asked this, his blue eyes sparkling as he looked between your frightful expression and the odd clothing you were wearing. Your hair danced across your neck as you shook your head in reply, eyes downcast as you watched your fingers begin pull and rub on the grass that was sitting at your side. You kept quiet as the group began talking again. Their words were most definitely about you and what they were going to do with this random stranger that had appeared seemingly out of thin air. Your nerves felt frazzled as you sat huddled against a tree, tears threatening to spill down your face once again as you used a finger to mess around with the dirt. You felt out of place. You knew you were. And the words that were being spoken, some in English and some in a language you couldn’t quite understand, dug deep into your brain.

_Confused. Scared. Home_. Your fingernails soon grew dark as you wrote in the dirt. You refused to look up, however, when you felt the eyes of the group stare at you again, fearing that if you did you would probably begin to cry again. How did you even end up in the forest? You couldn’t remember anything, no matter how hard you tried, it just caused the dull ache in your skull to worsen and build. Did you even have a home? Siblings? Parents? You couldn’t remember. You couldn’t remember anything before waking up in the forest. You could feel yourself almost going insane thinking about it, but soon enough the company went quiet again as you continued to aimlessly scribble in the dirt, your fingers beginning to ache until you saw a shadow looming over you. You saw a pair of worn boots appeared in your peripheral as your fingers stopped working in the dirt, your eyes trailing up the short body only to be met with kind eyes and a white beard as lips smiled kindly down to you.

The man’s eyes drifted down to the words you had scribbled into the dirt, his face softening before he pressed his hand against your shoulder. “It’s alright to be scared, lass.” The man’s voice was gentle as he smiled, his hand free outstretched and ready for you to grab. You looked at the man’s hand with hesitation, your gaze instead going over to Fili and Kili who sat in front of you as you brought your dirt-covered fingers to your chest. Both of the brothers nodded encouragingly as they stood to their feet, and your turned back to the short bearded man before you grabbed a hold of his fingers.

“Being scared is only natural when something like this occurs.” Your gaze went to the tall man in grey as you stood to your full height, knees shaking just a bit as you now got a full look at the group in front of you. You never really did consider yourself to be tall, but man, did you feel it as you stood above the men in front of you. The tallest man in the group just barely reached your chin, aside from the man in grey as he towered high above all of your heads. The tall man watched as you eyed the company with fear still lingering in your gaze, his eyebrows raised in amusement when he saw your hands lightly touching the spot on your head where the tallest of the dwarves reached. “They are dwarves, my dear y/n, if that is what you’re wondering.”

You locked eyes with the tall man before you turned to the dwarf with the white beard, the smile on his face reassuring as he nodded in agreement. “Balin, at your service lass.” He spoke once again, bowing slightly at the waist. Once again you felt out of place, to say the least, as you looked away from him and to those that accompanied him. The scrutinizing gaze of Thorin, the one who seemed to be the least excited about your sudden appearance, felt heavy against your side as you turned to look at Fili and Kili once again, their hands raising to wave and give you a small thumbs up before they settled down next to Bilbo who was sitting on a log.

“I suggest we make camp here, Thorin.” Gandalf spoke calmly as the dwarven leader snapped his head in the wizards direction, but Gandalf did not look towards the heated glare as his hands reached forward to wave you towards him. “The sun is already setting and I’m sure the rest of the company would not argue if we set up camp early tonight.” Murmurs of agreement sounded through the company of dwarves, and for a moment you felt a smile form on your lips at the noise before you turned your gaze back to the forest floor. Thorin let out a grunt of displeasure, but he nodded none the less before his eyes narrowed in your direction, though you did not see.

“Y/n, would you be a dear and come over here for a moment.” Your head snapped towards the wizard as he waved you over, you ears only picking up a few of Thorin’s harsh commands towards his company as you weaved your way through the camp and over to him. You fell in line next to the tall wizard as you peered up at him, your nerves having settled down only moments before as you shoved your hands deep into the pockets on your jacket. The man in front of you seemed amused at your mannerisms, a sudden blush forming on your cheeks before you looked back to the ground again as your gazes met. “You’ll have to excuse Thorin. Dwarves can be a bit stubborn when you first meet them.”

Your eyes followed the dark-haired leader for a moment as he weaved his way through the other dwarves in his group, his biting words not affecting what they did as they unloaded their ponies to set up camp for the night. You looked back to the tall man as he cleared his throat, his fingers shifting the staff in his hand before he set a hand on top of your left shoulder. “My name is Gandalf, if you were wondering.” His voice was quiet as he spoke. There was a mischievous glint in his eyes, one that made the wrinkly skin surrounding them seem younger. He watched as you mouthed the name. It seemed that the more names you learned from the group, the more relaxed you became. “Now tell me, what ever were you doing wandering alone in the forest? Surely you had a guide with you.”

Once again you shook your head in response to the question, your fingers pressing against your throat. You still didn’t trust your voice enough to speak to them, no matter how friendly or welcoming they seemed to be. Bits of fear still laced your heart as you stood in front of the wizard. However confusion seemed to be your main emotion as you used your hands to try and tell the wizard how you came to be in the forest, but the answer was clear. You simply didn’t know. “Hmm…” Gandalf watched as your fingers motioned between your aching head and body, your shoulders bobbing up and down as you tried to get what you meant across to the wizard. Luckily for you, the wizard caught on to your actions and he gave you a reassuring nod before setting his hand back on your shoulder. “Do not worry, y/n, I’m sure we will figure out how you came to be here soon enough. Until then– Bilbo, would you come here for a moment?”

The hobbit in question perked up when he heard someone call his name, his eyebrows furrowing together when he saw the wizard motioning for him to come closer. Within moments the hobbit had left his spot in the company, his large feet coming to a stop next to you as his questioning gaze danced between you and the wizard. “Would you mind helping Miss y/n here find something to eat, hm?” Almost on cue your stomach let out a loud growl, a deep flush coming to your cheeks once again as you pressed a hand over your rumbling belly to try and stop its call for food.

Bilbo let out a small laugh after his eyes widened, and he wasted no time at all in grabbing your hand before he began to lead you closer to the company. You heard Gandalf laugh at your sudden predicament, your eyes falling back on the wizard as he waved you off. You were quick to turn back to Bilbo as he pulled you forward, your pace suddenly picking up to match his as you almost tripped over an exposed tree root. “Oh, of course!” Bilbo’s grip was tight against your fingers as he pulled you closer to the working dwarves, your facing staying a deep shade of red as you avoided their stares. Bilbo suddenly came to a stop in front of a spread out bedroll, his fingers tightening around your own for a moment before he let go. “I’m sure I have an apple or two in here somewheree. You must be absolutely starving, poor thing!”

You felt exposed as you stood behind Bilbo while he rummaged through his small pack for any left over fruit that he brought from his hobbit hole. You tried your best to ignore the burning sensation you felt penetrate the skin of your neck, yet you couldn’t help but slowly bring your gaze to the left before you once again surveyed the group of dwarves. A rather large dwarf with auburn hair was bellowing with laughter at something that another dwarf with a funky hat had said, the wooden spoon he had a grip on falling out of his fingers and into a metal pot. Across from him sat a shy looking dwarf adorned in a warm looking sweater, the one who had hidden from Bilbo’s call for paper earlier, a thick book held tightly in his hands. Next to him sat another white-haired dwarf, only this time his beard was braided most intricately down his chin. The two seemed to be deep in conversation, and they both failed to notice as a dwarf with spiked hair ran behind them to spew another joke towards the larger one on the other side of the fire.

“Oh, here we are!” Bilbo’s shout for excitement broke your attention away from the dwarves, two red apples clutched in his hands before he held them out to you after you turned to face him. You hesitated at first. Your fingers only brushed the skin of the apples before Bilbo thrust the fruits into your hand. He gave your forearm a reassuring pat, his curly hair bouncing around his pointed ears as he nodded. “They might be a bit bruised, but it’ll hold you over until Bombur’s finished with dinner.”

You immediately assumed that Bombur was the large dwarf by the fire, his round cheeks glowing a deep red as he peered over the fire and into the large pot to check on its contents. Fiddling with your new snack, your eyes went back to the group before you, only this time you were met with deep brown eyes that were brimming with mischief. You watched as a smile pulled up the end of Kili’s lips, his teeth shining through as he sent you a small wink before he turned back to his brother. You couldn’t hear what he was saying. Not that you really wanted too. You kept your focus on the feeling of the fruit in your fingers as you tried to get rid of your sudden blush. You still weren’t quite sure where you were, or how you had stumbled into the company of thirteen dwarves, a hobbit, and a wizard. And a flirting dwarf wasn’t helping with your already unmanageable emotions.

Your thoughts had been to caught up in trying to find a place to rest in the camp that you failed to notice Kili walk up behind you, a smirk slowing replacing his smile as his footsteps slowed to a stop only a foot behind you. As a hand suddenly slammed onto you shoulder you let out a frightened gasp, the apples in your grip falling to the floor as your pulse raised while fear coursed through you once again. Without another thought you jumped forward and behind a nearby tree as you squeezed your eyes shut. Laughter soon sounded throughout the camp as you dashed out of sight, your knees buckling and sending you to the ground as you curled into yourself behind the thick tree. You kept your face hidden in your knees once again befote you heard footsteps leading towards your hiding place, and it didn’t take long for another hand, this time more gently, to press against your shoulder.

“Hey, I didn’t mean to scare you like that.” Kili’s face suddenly popped into view as you raised your head to look at him, his keen brown eyes catching the panic that flooded your expression and the trembling of your hands as he reached out for you. His lips pulled down into a frown at the sight, and regret suddenly washed over him as he let out a small sigh. “I’m sorry y/n, really I am.” Kili made sure to keep his voice low and quiet as he spoke. He was scared that maybe you might go into another fear-stricken frenzy if he said anything too loud or too suddenly.

Despite your sudden fright, the warmth of his hand against your shoulder helped to calm your nerves a bit as you looked forward, and you noticed the sincerity in his face as he pursued his lips together. You’re not exactly sure what compelled you to do so, maybe it was the reassurance you sudden felt by his presence or maybe it was the way his eyes held another unspoken apology, but you let out a small sigh as you reached for his other hand, your fingers gently grazing his skin before you flipped his hand around. Kili watched as you pressed your index finger lightly against his palm, a small shiver suddenly running down his spine when you began to slide your finger across his skin. It took him a while to figure out what it is you were doing, but when you looked to him expectantly, he furrowed his eyebrows until you repeated the same steps.

** IT IS OKAY. **

Kili’s mouth fell open when he realized you were writing with your finger on his hand, his mind immediately concentrating on following your finger movements so he could make out what you wanted to say. You watched as realization dawned on him, a small smile playing at your lips as he nodded his head before he looked back to your face. “Are you sure?” Kili’s free hand had moved to grab a hold of your wrist as he pushed himself to stand, pulling you with him as he furrowed his eyebrows.

You could tell he felt genuinely sorry for frightening you as bad as he did, and for a second you felt the grip on your wrist tighten before you gave him another smile. It was mostly the truth. You muscles were still tensed up from your first encounter with the dwarves, and Kili’s little trick had only tightened your muscles again to the point where it hurt to even move. But you couldn’t tell him that. His eyes seemed so careful to watch for any detection of a lie before you let go of his hand, and for a moment he felt a small spark run through his hand as he flexed then closed his fingers tightly into his palm. “If you say so.” Finally after moments of silence he spoke, his shoulder moving up in a shrug before he began to walk past you and out from behind the tree.

Your eyes widened in shock as he pulled you with him, his grip still tight against your wrist as the two of you walked past Bilbo and his bedroll, the hobbit’s eyes watching you two walk past with confusion written on his face. As you stumbled after Kili your eyes found the ground again, a frown suddenly pulling down your chapped lips as you caught sight of the once beautiful red apples now covered in dirt and grime. You were still hungry, but maybe Bombur’s food would be ready soon.

Your eyes found the backs of the other dwarves as Kili led you through the camp and towards where his brother sat, a large knife in his hand as he carefully ran the dull edge of the blade against a gritty stone. Soon enough you were pulled from your thoughts as your front collided with something hard, a small grunt of annoyance falling past your lips as you looked down to see Kili smiling sheepishly at you over his shoulder.

“Sorry,” His apology seemed rushed as he pulled you next to his brother, and you barely had time to move with him as you stumbled over the multiple weapons that were laid out in front of the blonde dwarf before Kili pushed you to sit on the dirt next to Fili. Kili wasted no time in finding the spot next to you. His lips were turned up into a boyish grin as he let go of your wrist, but instead of letting you have the limb back his fingers wrapped around your hand before he placed your fingers on top of his outstretched palm. Kili felt excited as his eyes danced between Fili and you for a moment. “Fili, look at this.”

The sound of his blade running against the stone stopped at the sound of his brother’s excited voice, and you craned your neck just in time to meet Fili’s blue eyes as he looked to the two of you in confusion. You didn’t have time to react to the blonde dwarf, Kili’s free hand lightly tapping the skin on your wrist before you turned back to him with a slight look of annoyance. You half expected the young dwarf to go flying off, the excitement coursing through him causing him to bounce in his seated position as his eyes sparkled. You also expected him to ask you something, but he didn’t. His lips only stayed in a grin as he looked to you, your fingers still resting softly against the palm of his hand as you waited for him to speak.

“She’s just touching your palm, Kili.” Fili’s amused tone broke his brother out of his excited trance, his brown hair falling around his shoulders when he suddenly snapped his head in his brothers direction. Fili watched as a small blush crept up Kili’s neck. A chuckle bubbled in his chest as he shook his head in amusement, and his eyes fell on to the bored expression that had contorted your face. “Excuse my brother, he can be a handful, as I’m sure you’ve already figured out.”

_So they are brothers._ You gave a small hum in agreement as you turned back to the brunette dwarf, his eyes having widened as he shot his brother a warning look before he looked back to you. Kili felt his pulse quicken a bit when a small chuckle came from you. Your fingers were still pressed gently against his palm before you dropped both of your hands into you lap, your gaze returning to his after you shot his brother a look. Suddenly you felt awkward as a silence over took the three of you. It wasn’t long before you found yourself turning away from Kili for a moment, the sound of metal on rock being heard again to your right. Fili had grabbed a hold of his blade again, his fingers carefully pressing the metal against the wet stone as he slowly worked away at the blade, shaping the edge to a.. well to a sharp and dangerous point. You had become fascinated by his actions. The sound of the blade scraping against the grated stone was soothing in a way, the rhythmic sound almost sending you to sleep the longer you watched his action.

However, a heavy body seemed to knock into your shoulder, and suddenly a small wooden bowl was thrust into your hands, shortly followed by a singular spoon. Your gaze landed on Kili as he settled into his spot again. His arm was reaching out in front of you to pass another wooden bowl to his brother before he gave you a small nod. “You should eat.” Kili said. His mouth was soon filled with the steaming stew that Bombur had made in what seemed like no time. Your gaze fell to your own bowl of stew, the spoon in your hand dipping into the broth for a moment as you stirred its contents slowly. Hesitancy filled you at first, your eyes looking on to the chunks of meat and the odd vegetable with slight disgust before you gave a small shrug. _What’s the worst that could happen?_

You sat quietly next to the two dwarves as you dug into the lovely stew. The taste warmed you up almost instantly as the spices from the broth swirled around in your mouth. You truly didn’t realize how hungry you were until your bowl was empty, a contented sigh falling past your lips as you leaned back against a fallen log. A chuckle sounded from besides you as you set the empty bowl next to your thigh, your eyes immediately finding Fili’s as he looked between your empty bowl and your pursed lips. “Hungry, aren’t we y/n?” The teasing smirk on his lips enticed a blush to form on your puffed out cheeks. You turned your head away from him as you set your gaze to the ground, and he grabbed your empty bowl, setting his own on top before he stood to his feet. “Want any more, Kili?”

Wordlessly the younger dwarf shook his head as his brother walked past, his hands pushing his near empty bowl into the hands of Fili’s and on top of the other two bowls. A snicker came from Kili as he watched his brother suddenly stumbled. The three bowls and spoons in his grip nearly fell out of his hand as he tripped over a few rocks on his way over to Bombur. You had looked up just in time to watch the scene, a small laugh of your own coming from your lips before you felt a small tug against your hand. Kili was reaching for you again. His palm was already facing the sky as he set your fingers against his skin. “Was supper any good?”

You nodded in response to his question before you gently moved your fingers against his palm, a small smile pulling up your lips as you watched him concentrate on your movements. _**VERY TASTY**._ Kili nodded in understanding before he looked back to you through his fringe. His lips were pulled into a small smile, but the smile slowly faded away when he saw you looking past him, a small frown of your own pulling down yours lips. Curiously, Kili followed your line of sight, a sudden laugh coming from him before he looked back to you. “Don’t worry about uncle,” Kili’s voice broke you away from your thoughts, your eyes moving away from Thorin to look back to Kili as you tilted your head in confusion.

_Uncle_? Subconsciously your fingers moved against his palm, the same word your thoughts seemed to be consumed with being written out across his skin. “Yeah, Thorin’s my _Amad’s_ brother,” Kili felt a sudden rush of pride fill him as he watched your mouth fall slightly open upon realizing the relationship between the grumpy dwarven leader and the two brothers. Once again your eyes fluttered over to Thorin as your fingers froze against Kili’s palm. Your mind suddenly began to wonder as you narrowed your eyes in confusion at the dwarfs back.

From across the camp, away from where the new addition of the company sat, Thorin felt annoyance bubble in his chest as he sat a ways from the rest of the company. Movement from behind him alerted the dwarven leader of someone coming up to him. However, his eyes fell on to Balin as he came to a stop mere feet away from him. “Quite an interesting lass, isn’t she?” Balin’s kind voice caused Thorin to narrow his eyes, his harsh gaze falling on to the girl that sat with his nephews across the way.

“She will only be a burden on our quest.” Thorin’s voice was low as he turned his back on the company again. His gaze was turned to the horizon as the moon slowly came into view. The higher that the moon rose in the sky, the brighter the camp was lit up from its dazzling rays. Quiet chatter could be heard throughout different areas of the camp, and though he tried his best to keep his mind occupied with the task at hand, reclaiming Erebor and killing the dragon Smaug, Thorin couldn’t help but find himself watching the young girl who now found place within his company. “She doesn’t belong here.”

“From what I can see, she doesn’t belong anywhere anymore.” Balin, always the voice of reason within the rowdy company, took a seat next to Thorin before crossing his fingers together over his stomach as he settled down. Thorin gave a grunt in response before he finally looked away from the girl, his fingers running over the lining of his coat for a moment before Balin set a comforting hand upon his shoulder. “She’s just a child Thorin. Doesn’t it make you wonder a bit..” Balin trailed off. His voice came to a whisper as his keen eyes watched the interactions between Thorin’s nephews and their new addition with a kind gaze. “What was she doing out here all alone?”

“It matters not what she was doing.” Thorin stood to his feet, a huff coming from his lips as he stepped forward a bit. He stopped at the edge of a small cliff, his eyes looking down into the darkness that shrouded the ground, the moon’s light just barely bouncing off of a small stream that resided at the bottom of the incline. “We need to focus on our quest,” Thorin seemed to care not for the safety of the girl. His fists were clenched tightly by his sides as he let out a small sigh. His mind was too focused on his homeland; just the thought of calling Erebor his home again caused his heart to jolt with a joyous feeling. But of course something always had to come and ruin his excitement.

“Don’t be harsh on the lass, Thorin. She just needs a little help to—“

“What she needs is of no concern to us!” Thorin’s voice came out louder than he had originally intended it too. His frustrated tone resonated clearly throughout the company, and soon enough curios eyes looked towards the angered leader as he glowered at the eldest dwarf of the company. Thorin kept his gaze hard as he looked at everyone, however before he could look towards you his shoulders sagged before he turned his back to the company, his blue eyes becoming cold as he looked back out at the horizon. He crossed his arms over his chest after he heaved out a sigh. “Get some sleep, Balin.” Balin’s eyebrows furrowed together at his kings attitude, his voice low and quiet as he worked to even out his temper. “We leave at first light.”

** HE HATES ME. **

Fili’s lips turned down into a frown as your fingers now danced across his palm. His eyes danced towards his brother for a quick moment, and he shook his head before speaking. “No, I don’t think he does.” Kili rose an eyebrow in question at his statement, but the eldest just waved him off before continuing. “He just doesn’t know you. Once he does, he’ll warm up to you.”

Your hearing wasn’t the best, but you didn’t need the ears of an Elf to hear the leaders conversation with Balin. The longer you listened to the two talk— well, it seemed more like arguing then anything— the more your body bristled with worry and fear that maybe you wouldn’t be allowed to stay with the company much longer. You could hear the disdain in Thorin’s voice as he spoke about you. It was clear that he would rather let you fend for yourself in the wild than have you stay within the comforting ranks of the company. Your expression contorted to one of distress and despair at the thought. When he let out an angered shout, everyone that had finally settled down after Bombur’s hearty stew jostled awake and looked to him, yourself jumping at the sudden noise.

Kili’s hand landed on your shoulder in a comforting way, once again disrupting you from your thoughts. You turned to him, your worried eyes meeting his reassuring ones before he gave you a smile. “Yeah, don’t worry about him y/n.” By now your hands were clasped tightly around Fili’s thick coat in your lap as you rested against the log. Not to long ago Fili had freed himself of his thick coat, offering to set it on top of your legs. Wordlessly you tried to deny such a kind offer, but your attempts at pushing him away were useless as he set the thick material over your legs with ease. You pinched the surprisingly soft fabric between your fingers as you looked away from the brunette, your gaze falling on the others of the company.

By now the chatter had quieted down again, a few of the dwarves having fallen asleep as the rest talked quietly amongst themselves. Your curious eyes watched the Hobbit, as Kili had explained what he was earlier, as he fidgeted in his sleep. Your ears had drowned out the words of the brothers next to you as you let your thoughts consume you again. You continued to look around the camp, your lips mouthing the names of each of the dwarves silently. You were positive you wouldn’t go to sleep tonight. Fili and Kili’s explaination on what was what and who was who in Middle Earth was still fresh on your mind. You couldn’t quite comprehend all of this information as quickly as anyone else might have. Despite having calmed down significantly since appearing to the company, your nerves were still on edge. Your mind whirled with countless thoughts as your veins coursed with a never ending adrenaline and fear. Your calm exterior was only a facade, your insides churning dangerously as your body reacted to the new world.

“Why don’t you get some sleep.” It was Kili’s voice that seemed to always break you away from your thoughts. Fili had already settled down next to you, a thin pillow resting under his head as he laid down on top of his bedroll. His hand was supporting his head though, while the other laid sprawled across his stomach as his blue eyes peered up into the night sky. You looked away from him before stifling a yawn that slowly made itself known as sleep began calling you. “We’ll wake you when it’s time to leave.” You couldn’t help the exhaustion that overcame you, and though only moments ago you were sure you wouldn’t be able to fall asleep, you were beginning to find it hard to keep your eyes open.

Slowly you slid your aching body down to the ground. The small pillow that Kili had given you sometime ago provided little cushion for your head as you laid down next to Fili, your eyes finding the endless stars in the sky suddenly enticing. The coat you had around your legs acted as a blanket as you closed your eyes, the warmth from the fabric drawing you in deeper as the tension in your body slowly faded away. The brothers watched as your body relaxed, your chest rising and falling rhythmically as your breathing finally evened out. Soon after they were both sure you had fallen asleep, Kili too laid down in the open spot next to you. He made sure that Fili’s coat was wrapped securely around you, his eyes dancing around your huddled frame for a moment before someone cleared their throat.

“We can’t really know what uncle’s thinking.” Fili made sure his voice was quiet so as not to wake you, his lips pulled into a tight line as he looked towards you. Kili nodded in agreement. His fingers reached up to push the hair away from his eyes before he tried to make himself comfortable on the ground. “For now he will let her come with us, but unless Balin or Gandalf can convince him, he will want to try to get rid of her.”

Kili pursed his lips together as he looked up to the night sky. It was only hours ago that the company had found you in the forest, and in that short span of time the brothers had grown fond of you. Sure, they could still see the hesitancy and the fear that danced around your eyes as you watched the company bustle about, but they also saw a curiosity swim around your features, and the innocence that seemed to radiate off of you since coming into this world made them want to protect you. Thorin, however, seemed to have another idea. His mind was set on one thing and one thing only; reclaiming Erebor. Your sudden presence seemed to dampen his mood, a scowl having been seen on his countenance ever since you had arrived. The brothers knew their uncle, but for some reason they couldn’t seem to figure out what his next move concerning you would be. And that worried them.

“Then I guess we’ll have to make sure she’s cared for, won’t we brother.” Out of the corner of his eye Kili watched Fili give a fierce nod, a smirk of his own pulling up his lips as he turned to lie on his side. An unspoken agreement was shared between the two dwarves. As they settled down for the night, the twinkling stars and the bright moon being the only witnesses to their conversation, they knew it would be hard to keep you out of harm’s way, but they would both try their damned hardest to make sure you made it to safety in one piece.


	2. Immersed with Them

A couple days had passed since your arrival in Middle Earth. You still had yet to grow fully accustomed to the dwarves that had found you in the forest, but with each little kind word that Ori would utter, or each tale that Bofur or Dori recited over the blaze of the campfire brought you closer to the company. The first two days were rough, to say the least. Your back ached from sleeping on the rough ground; not even Fili's thick coat provided enough cushion for you to have a full nights rest. And you were positive that your spine and butt were bruised from sitting on a pony for too long. Your clothes and hair had grown dirty throughout your journey, and it was often that you wished you could be back home for a proper wash. But that was behind you now, as Gandalf had put it on your second day with the dwarves.

Fili and Kili kept as close to your side as their uncle would allow. Often times you found your eyes dancing over to the brothers while you trecked your way through the forest, your arms tightly around Bofur or Balin’s waist in fear of falling off of his pony. You felt a sense of relief wash over your body when the brothers were near, something that you hadn't felt much of since you first woke up in Middle Earth. While yes, other dwarves had tried to engage in conversation and be friendly towards you, your predicament of not being able to speak tended to push them away. You wanted to speak with them, to voice out your concerns of the quest and the well-being of the company, but you just couldn't. That, and Thorin's constant belittling of you often scared some of them away as well.

You hated the way Thorin looked at you. His blue eyes staring deep holes into your back or side, almost as if he was hoping you would drop dead so he could continue his quest without any more interruptions. After many explanations from Kili or Fili, and a heavy scolding from Thorin soon after, you had learned of the quest these dwarves were going on. Your heart settled with guilt when you had realized just how much of a distraction and hassle your presence in the company would be to them, but it wasn't your fault that you just appeared out of nowhere. If Thorin could have his way he would leave you at the next campsite and never turn back. But much to his disdain both his newphews and Gandalf, along with a few of the other dwarves, would most definitely protest and drag you along with them.

"She may not do much now, but she's a helpful lass!" Bombur often shouted, his red cheeks puffing out as he smiled towards you. As days passed you found yourself offering to help him cook the scrappy meals that he made for the company, and almost immediately he took you up on your offer. Soon enough you found yourself smiling as you cut the odd vegetable or grilled some rabbit or venison from a hunt while you listened to Bombur tell you about his life in the Blue Mountains. After everyone had their fill of food you were the one to collect the bowls and other utensils, trying your hardest to scrub them clean. The festivities around the campsite was always loud in your ears, but joy filled your heart whenever Fili, Kili or Bofur gravitated towards you and away from the others. Bofur was one of the few dwarves that didn’t seem put off by your lack of speech. Luckily for him though, that meant he could talk as long as he wanted or tell you a funny story about one of his brothers.

It was a rare sight to see you without one of the three dwarves by your side. Whenever it was time to pack up camp and start on the quest again, you found yourself being juggled between the three dwarves, as they often argued over who you would ride with next. You couldn't help but roll your eyes at their behavior whenever the arguing ensued, your legs carrying you over to Balin as he always agreed to let you join him on his pony. That put a pout on the three arguing dwarves faces almost instantly. Balin never seemed to mind your silence. In fact, he had found himself growing used to it, not that he had much of a choice. He noticed how you only ever really 'spoke' with Fili, Kili and Bofur, keeping your special ways of communication to yourselves unless others asked about it. Everyone else was fine with reading your thoughts from a sheet of paper. 

The older dwarf had, as most of the other dwarves had, grown fond of you. Your presence among the rowdy group of dwarves was like a breath of fresh air. If you weren't feeding the group with Bombur, than you were following behind Oin a bit as he checked up on everyone. If you weren't preoccupied with Fili and Kili, than you were like the Dwarven healer's little assistant. Oin was hesitant at first, letting a human girl follow him around, and just letting you read the dwarves ways of healing over his shoulder felt odd to him. But he saw how interested you were, and the eagerness to adjust to this world was clear in your eyes. With a couple of reassuring words from Balin and the compliments that Fili and Kili constantly spoke of you, Oin finally gave in ad taught you a few things about the different types of ointments and salves and what they did, as well as how to properly stitch and bind a wound. You were thankful that at least most of the older dwarves finally took to you. 

Though slowly, you were adjusting well to your new life with the dwarves. Much to Gandalf's amusement, even the Hobbit had a soft spot for you. But that could be seen since your first meeting. Bilbo understood what it was like to have the constant glare of Thorin on your back. He tried his best to ease your worry about the leader, a gentle smile on his face when he tried to distract you. He often told you of his home back in Hobbiton. The more he told you about the warm and cozy place, the more you longed to be there rather than in the wild. Constantly moving and switching ponies was rough. The nights weren't any better. Yes, a fire was almost always lit, but you always found yourself shivering, a cold settling in your bones while you tried to will yourself to sleep. Early to bed and early to rise seemed to be Thorin's motto most of the time, one which you were never fond of. Oh how you longed to sleep in a warm bed, or to hold a warm cup of tea to rid yourself of the chill in your body. 

Today was no exception from your newly found aches and pains. Your bottom was already beginning to grow numb. "You alright back there, lass?" Bofur, your riding companion for the time being, questioned as craned his neck while taking out his pipe, his floppy hat almost hitting you in the face if you hadn't ducked a bit. You were desperately trying to get comfortable, but your legs were tingling as the numbness slowly extended down from your butt to your legs and feet. You gave a small huff in response, one of your arms unwinding from his waist so you could tap your leg, your face scrunching up in discomfort. Bofur's lips pulled into a jesting smile, his head shaking as he let out a laugh before sticking his pipe between his lips. "Still not used to riding, are ya?"

You shook your head no. A soft breath fell past your lips as you held on to him again, you cheek falling against his back as boredom soon overtook you. You found yourself watching the leaves on the ground, the older, brown and yellowing ones crunching under the heavy hooves of the many ponies. You closed your eyes, suddenly preferring to rely on your sense of hearing instead of sight. You listened carefully as a gentle breeze blew against the trees, their branches creaking and groaning as they shifted against the small force. The chatter amongst the company was quiet, carrying softly against the breeze along with the clicking of hooves and into your ears as you zoned out. 

Fili and Kili glanced towards each other when they caught you leaning against Bofur's back, the dwarf not seeming to mind at all, the sudden weight of you pushing against him. The brothers slowly steered their ponies to ride in tune with Bofur's, the older dwarf shooting them a look when they fell next to his side. "How can I help you lads?" He asked, pipe held between his teeth. Kili's eyes raked over your limp body, taking in the way your hair fell delicately over your face, your slow, steady breaths blowing a few strands up and away every once in a while. You seemed at peace. 

"Has she fallen asleep already?" Fili looked up as he spoke, his eyebrows knitting in confusion. If it was one thing that confused the most out of the dwarves, it has how easily you could fall asleep. It seemed that even though it was nearly midday, you were already sleeping soundly atop of a pony. It was unbelievable. Bofur felt you stir against his back at the golden-haired princes words, your eyes meeting his briefly after tossing your hair over your shoulder. Kili let out a laugh when you shook your head no. Bofur too gave a chuckle, watching the way the brothers faces lit up when you paid attention to them. The two tried their hardest to keep your spirits up, he noticed after the first two days. Whether it be by talking you up about a new prank that Kili had come up with, or by telling you an exciting story about their home in the Blue Mountains. Either way, your focus was almost always kept on the young dwarves, your eyes wide with fascination as you absorbed their words intently. You were quite the curious one.

"Care to explain what you were doing then, hm?" Kili quirked an eyebrow when you finally looked to him. You gave a small tap to Bofur's front as you uncurled your fingers from his coat, his hand letting go of the reigns of his pony so his palm could face towards the sky. The day before you had decided to expand your horizons on who you wanted to communicate with, your mind settling on Bofur. He was one of the couple of dwarves that had warmed up to your presence quickly, his words always spoken gently or he would act funny as a smile was ever present on his lips. You gave a small hum before resting your finger on his skin, and soon after he turned to the dark-haired prince after you had finished writing.

"She said she's listening."

A snort came from Kili, his brother shooting him a stern look before he went went to speak again. Kili just brushed it off. "Listening to..." Kili found himself looking around the forest, his eyes dancing between tree after tree and taking in their similar green and yellow leaves before he looked back to you. "What, exactly?" 

A pebble suddenly hit Kili in the temple, a pained gasp, followed by some curses, falling from his lips as his fingers gingerly rubbed his new injury. You pressed hand over your mouth to stifle your laughter, your eyes turning to Fili who bounced another small stone in his hand as he shot his brother yet another warning look. A glaring match started between the two princes, and bickering soon ensued as they inadvertently spurred their ponies to move forward. Amusement swam through your eyes as you watched their squabble, your fingers grasping Bofur again as you settled against his back. You forced yourself to drown out the bickering between Fili and Kili, your lips turned up when you suddenly heard a few birds chirping from their perched in the trees. A small clearing was coming up, as you could see from your position towards the back of the company. 

By now your legs were tingling, having sat on the pony for too long causing your nerves to fight for feeling again. It appeared that everyone else in the company was growing restless as well. Ori was trying his hardest to keep himself occupied, however failing to initiate an awkward conversation with Gandalf. Dwalin, one of the few dwarves who had appeared to yet feel the slightest bit okay with your presence, was stuck by Thorin's side up front, their conversation kept quiet between them. Your eyes suddenly found Gandalf's as you looked towards the back of the company. A pleased glint was always in his eyes as he watched you open up more and more to the dwarves. He gave you a small nod, the pointy grey hat on his head bouncing a bit before he clicked his tongue. You watched silently as he rode past you, falling in line with Dwalin and Thorin up front.

"Do you suppose we'll stop sometime soon?" Ori's voice sounded as he glanced towards you, your shoulders shrugging as you sat up. You rose an eyebrow in question to his own, a deep blush crawling up his neck and settling on his cheeks and nose as he quickly looked away from you. "I-I am needing to... t-to relieve myself.. a bit." 

The blush on his face darkened when you threw your head back in laughter, Bofur reacting the same way at the young dwarfs statement. You found his embarrassment adorable, to say the least. The more you stayed within the company the more you learned that it was okay to be yourself, or rather then be themselves around you. Each night you found yourself laughing more at the odd and sometimes crude jokes that Bofur or Nori would say, your shoulders knocking together with Kili's or Fili's as you gripped your ribs tightly. You've heard Ori's statement more than once on this journey, and yet you still found it amusing when they shied away from you concerning that stuff. You were a grown woman, you knew how the body worked and when it needed it's release well, there wasn't anything you could do about. Still, they didn't need to announce it every time they needed to take a piss. That part was getting a bit annoying.

"I'm sure we'll stop soon, Ori." Bofur reached over and gave the dwarf a pat on his shoulder, his lips still turned into a large grin when he noticed the blush that lingered on his freckled cheeks. "Y/n here could do with some stretching, couldn't you—"

"We stop here!" 

Thorin's orotund voice was loud, his tone commanding as he pulled the reins to slow his pony. Cheers sounded throughout the company at his words, some letting out sighs of relief as everyone slowly rode towards the clearing you saw from earlier. After everyone stopped, one by one the dwarves clambered off of their ponies, some stretching their arms above their heads while others hurriedly made their way into the forest to, as Ori had made mention of, relieve themselves. Bofur kept a tight grip on your hand as he helped you off of the pony, making sure your feet were firm on the ground before he too hurried off. You let out a sigh of relief as you bent at the waist, a series of satisfying cracks being heard as you stretched. Your legs were screaming, numbness still lingering in your nerves as you slowly made your way around the small clearing.

You found yourself wondering a bit a way from the group to do finish your business. It wasn’t often that you had much time to yourself nowadays, so even this little bit of time you had to be alone was great, even if it was to empty your bladder. You were quick to clean yourself as best as you could, and after making sure your pants were situated you made your way back to the group. However, you found yourself stopping on the edge of a small rock, your eyes growing wide for a second as you looked down into the steep clearing, beautiful green trees and a small stream running down below you.

The air was crisp and inviting in that area, and you sucked in a deep breath, holding it in your lungs for a second before you slowly let it out. Your eyes closed again, your ears going to work as you listened to the others around the company. Slowly they were appearing at the edge of the forest, looks of content and relief dancing over their bearded faces as they made their way back to their ponies. No one mounted just yet though. Tummy's rumbled with hunger, each dwarf reaching into their packs for a small snack as they conversed again. Your thoughts weren't too consuming this time, and you heard footsteps slowly crunching the dead leaves and the odd twig as someone neared you. You kept your eyes closed though, breathing in the refreshing air gently as you waited for whoever had taken the spot beside you to speak. 

Fingers brushed against the skin of your hand hesitantly, and a small smile made its way on to you face when you recognized the familiar touch. You finally opened your eyes, turning to face Kili as he meekly grabbed a hold of your hand. The tips of his fingers smoothed circles into your wrist and palm for a brief moment, his own palm opening and facing the sky before he placed your hand on top of his. "Sorry if I was being a _kakhuf inbarathrag_ earlier." He began, an apologetic smile on his face. Usually you would've question him on the term, as the Khuzdul language was something that you clearly weren't familiar with at all. But instead you focused on the tiny cut on his temple, a purple and blue bruise surrounding the wound. "I mean, I understand if you—"

Kili froze when your hand suddenly brushed against his face, your fingers gently prodding the cut on his skin as a frown pulled down your lips. The hand that rested against his palm started to move, your index finger digging into his skin as you lowered your other hand from his face. 

**DOES IT HURT?**

"What, this old thing?" To shake off the sweep of emotions in his stomach Kili let out a loud laugh, his hand dropping away from yours and falling to his side. Your frown deepened at his sudden change in mood, and even though you would usually believe the smile on his face, you refused to this time. "Tis but a flesh wound! There isn't any need to worry, y/n." The cut had already been tended to, you could tell, as a dab of green paste seemed to be smeared over the cut. Oin's doing most likely. Fili was probably the one who, after explaining why he chucked a rock at his head and apologizing for it, had probably taken his brother to the healer when they had all stopped in the clearing. Kili could tell you didn't believe his words. The frown on your face had turned into a grimace, your fingers curling tightly into your palm when he went to reach for your hand again. He opened his mouth to speak, to try and explain that he was truly alright, but he was cut off by loud command.

"Kili!" It was Thorin, his azure eyes watching as his nephew interacted with you. You could feel the glare he was casting in your direction, and you quickly turned your back to him before you felt compelled to send one back. The dwarf in question froze at the angered tone his uncle had, and he quickly dropped his hand reaching out to yours before he turned to his uncle. Kili shot you an apologetic look, his fingers instead brushing against your elbow before he hurried over to Thorin. You didn't mean to listen in on the dwarfs scolding, but Thorin's words continued to bite at your heart as he reprimanded his nephew for once again hanging around you alone. You still couldn't quite understand why the raven haired leader detested you so, and no reassuring words could change the fact in your mind that he would never accept you as a part of the company. Hell, you didn't even accept yourself as a part of the company. 

A comforting hand was suddenly placed on your shoulder, as well as another gripping your forearm tightly, pulling you away from your thoughts. To your left Balin was patting your shoulder, his lips pulling into a tight smile as to your right Bilbo held your arm. "He'll warm up to you eventually, lass." Balin’s words, though sympathetic and somewhat reassuring, did nothing to ease your tense nerves. "Just give him some more time." How much time did a dwarf need to warm up to a woman? From the stories that Bofur and Balin had told you, in Dwarven culture women were, due to them being few and far between, cherished and protected. They had explained that all women, no matter what race, were considered as precious jewels, though most could hold their own in battle. So why were you any different from the dwarrowdams and other human women? Why did Thorin hold such a hatred towards you?

Once again you were broken from your thoughts when a Thorin's voice echoed through the clearing, his lips pulled into a tight line after he called for everyone to gather again. It was time to leave. You felt Balin give your shoulder a soft squeeze before he left to find his pony, your eyes falling to Bilbo as he did the same. Bilbo didn't seem to happy with the idea though. You knew that he still wasn't quite used to riding yet. You didn't blame him. It was uncomfortable and rough riding on the back of a pony for hours at a time. It amazed you that neither one of you had fallen off yet, and you were sure that you would both gain a glare from Thorin and a fit of laughter from the others if either one of you did so. You let out a sigh as you silently followed Bilbo back to the others, your arms wrapping around your middle as you came to a stop next to Ori. The dwarf still seemed embarrassed by his earlier comment, a red tint flooding his cheeks as he avoided your eyes. 

"Y/n!" A shoulder suddenly rammed into yours, a soft grunt falling past your lips as you steadied yourself against a nearby tree. "Looks like I'll be your riding companion for the time being." You rubbed your sore shoulder as you looked to Fili, a grin snuggly on his lips as he puffed out his chest. You rolled your eyes at the prince, but nodded wordlessly as you slowly followed behind him. You could feel eyes watching you as you mounted the pony, yet you ignored them as Fili's hands fell secure on your waist as he lifted you up and on to the pony. He didn't waste any time in pulling himself up, with a little bit of help from Gloin, before situating himself in front of you. You kept silent as his hair briefly brushed against your nose, the scent of pipe smoke and for some odd reason, apple, flooding your senses as you wrapped your arms around his middle. You always did find the way he smelt relaxing, though you were never going to tell him that.

You ignored the sudden bristle of emotions you felt as you leaned against his broad back, and you instead occupied yourself by watching the rest of the company mount their ponies. Soon enough, after everyone was repacked and on their ponies Thorin gave one last call before starting off towards your intended path. Your grip tightened around Fili when your shared pony gave a whine, jolting forward a bit to follow after the others. "And off we go." Fili murmured, his hair falling over his shoulders as he turned his head back, making sure that you were as comfortable as one could be on a pony. Once his eyes met yours, you gave him a small smile before giving his middle a squeeze, and after he had turned again you pressed your face into his back. 

Fili let go of the reins to give the back of your hand that held on to his waist a small tap. You didn't acknowledge him for a minute, his eyebrows quirking until he felt you give a small grunt against his back as you shivered against him. The wind was nipping at your skin again, turning the tip of your nose and cheeks red as a chill set in your bones. One of the dwarves had graciously let borrow one of their cloaks the day after your arrival, but even the new fabric upon your back didn't seem to warm you up. The entire day was deeming itself miserable so far, and you couldn't wait until you sat in front of a blazing fire, a hot bowl of whatever you and Bombur could cook for supper in your hands. Fili could feel the misery radiate off your body in waves, and he flinched a bit when your shivering increased. Sure, his body was providing some warmth as well as blocking most of the wind from biting you, but that didn't mean you still weren't cold. 

The two of you fell into a comfortable silence after while, your chilled fingers pulling up the hood of your cloak as you set your forehead against the fabric of Fili's coat. As the company fell back into the chatter as they had done earlier, you found yourself listening to the forest again, rather than watching as you closed your eyes. You could still hear Thorin talking with Kili, this time the prince having the gall to argue back. Your brows furrowed at the anger that laced his usually jolly voice, and for a moment you opened one eye to look for him. He was already staring in your direction, eyes blazing as he fought with his uncle, but as soon as he locked eyes with you he grew quiet, lips pursing together before he turned away to glare at Thorin. Their argument ended in an instant and Thorin turned away with a flick of his raven hair as Kili slowed his ponies pace, falling back. You half expected him to fall back to ride with you and Fili, but when he didn't you frowned, concern growing in your stomach as you closed your eyes again. 

You exhaled a deep breath as the same wind that froze your bones blew the leaves across the ground, the ponies whining in what seemed like a reply to the few birds that chirped high above them. The noise was soothing to you, your body relaxing against Fili's warm one as sleep soon took hold of you and you dozed off peacefully, momentarily forgetting about the other dwarves in the company and the quest that they had set out to complete. 

~~~

Somehow you managed to pretty much sleep through the rest of the journey for that day. You remember a few times something, or someone for that matter, would nudge your shoulder or something soft would press against your cheek, but despite your awareness of your surroundings you couldn't be bothered to wake up. Fili found it comforting knowing that you felt safe around him, your arms subconsciously tightening around his middle whenever his pony got particularly rowdy. Kili noticed that, when he was finally found the courage to ride next to his brother again, that you were sound asleep. He made sure to keep his conversations with his brother quiet, fearing that he might wake you. But you were in such a deep sleep that, even when he prodded your side with his fingers, your eyes didn't stir under their lids, only your head turning to face away from him in return. The company left you that way, snoring softly against Fili's back until Thorin declared they had found a good spot to set up camp in. By this time the sun was beginning to set, and everyone's belly's were growling with hunger. 

The others immediately started in laying out their bedrolls, roping the ponies against a sturdy tree and getting a warm fire going. The brothers, however, eased your limp body from off of the pony, your eyes finally peeling open as you let out a groan when you felt two pairs of warm hands grab your body gently. "Ah, sleeping beauty awakes I see." Fili teased. Sleep clouded your eyes when you peeled them open, your feet almost falling out from under you was you stumbled forward in a haze. Kili watched you from the sidelines— while still being ready to catch you in case you fell— amused when you stumbled to a stop in front of a log. Bilbo had sat himself upon the same log, his hairy feet stretched out in front of him as he tried to ease the feeling back into them. Kili watched silently as Bilbo's gaze reached your own, his eyes lighting up before he stood to his feet.

"Oh, y/n!" He thrilled, his hands grasping one of yours as you continued to rub the sleep from your eyes. Bilbo eased you to sit next to him, his fingers fiddling with your borrowed cloak before pulling the fabric tighter around your body. You usually pushed away his fatherly antics, as he had seemed to develop a deep fondness for you, but your mind was still foggy with sleep, your eyes only half-open as you took in your new surroundings. "I suspect you slept well, judging by the marks on your skin." Bilbo chuckled when he saw yours fingers brush against your cheek, a slight blush forming on them when you felt the divots in your skin from the bumps under Fili’s coat. Most likely a sword or knife. 

"Aye, Mister Baggins." Bofur suddenly came up behind you, his hands landing heavily on your shoulders as he shook your body back and forth. You flinched at the harsh feeling, your eyes narrowing as you looked back to the dwarf. "Like a bear in hibernation, I tell you." You grunted at his statement, catching his teasing wink as he gave your shoulders a squeeze before turning to finish setting up his pack and bedroll. You turned to the front again, a soft sigh falling past your lips when you felt the heat of the fire against your chilled skin. As the sun set lower in the sky and the moon rose higher, the cold grew. Your breath turned visible in the air, floating away into the dark night. Stars twinkled magnificently in the sky, as the clearing that Thorin had chosen to camp out in being open enough overhead to display the enchanting night sky and its endless clusters of stars. 

Clashing of pots and pans drew you away from the moon, your eyes catching Bombur as he began to set up for the meal. Your eyes widened suddenly and you jumped to your feet when you realized you had a duty to complete. You brushed past Fili and Kili, who were still unpacking their pony and setting up, before making a beeline for the red-headed dwarf. Bombur gave you a smile when you shuffled over to him, his hands already holding a knife and make-shift cutting board before he passed them to you. "Here you are, y/n." He spoke, watching as you plopped down next to him to begin cutting up some carrots. "Tonight's gonna be another stew, lads!"

Bombur's calls elicited groans from the other dwarves and your lips pulled up in amusement as you began chopping away at whatever vegetable or other items of food that Bombur handed to you. You worked silently, as always, as he kept a keen eye on the boiling pot of stew. It wasn't long before all of the food had been chopped into pieces and other spices and herbs were added into the mixture. Chatter began sprouting amongst the dwarves as they awaited their warm meal. As Bombur stirred the stew you washed the knives and cutting board, your eyes trailing every-so-often to the other dwarves. They kept themselves busy to try and get their hunger off of their minds; some whittled away at chunks of wood while others preferred to sharpen their weapons. As always, Thorin and Dwalin kept to themselves away from the group, whispers being shared amongst them. You often wondered if they were a thing, as they always seemed to be close, or at least within touching distance. You didn't bring it up though. It wasn't any of your business.

Soon enough the stew was ready, Bombur calling for the attention of the company with a short yet loud shout. You helped Bombur portion out the food, laddeling the warm stew into outstretched wooden bowls before handing each outstretched hand a small loaf of slightly stale bread. It didn't take long for the dwarves to eat their fill, and if you hadn't snagged a bowl for yourself before anyone else did, you would've gone without supper for the night. You didn't eat though, until you were sure that everyone else had eaten. Even Thorin, even if he did still cast you a wary glance. Just because he hated you didn't mean you had to hate him back. You were close though. 

"Thank you lass!"

"Oh, how kind you are, y/n!"

"Do you think you'll need any help washing up?"

The dwarves praises and questions sounded muddled together when you went to collect their empty bowls at the end of the meal. You made sure to keep a steady hand on the messy bowls and spoons as you denied their requests for help, a small smile spreading across your face as you went back to wash them. The longer you stayed with the company the more you realized how everyone worked as a well-oiled machine. It would be wrong to just tag along and do nothing. So you took it upon yourself to wash the dishes each night, making sure they were ready for use the next day before settling down for the night. It didn't take long though, to wash the dishes. The dwarves always seemed to be hungry, and the bowls were licked clean by the time you grabbed them so it made them easier to wipe away the leftovers.

The moon was high in the sky by the time you finished with the dishes, setting them to the side with a sigh before you stood to your feet. Your back cracked loudly as you stretched your arms above your head, your arms hanging loosely at your side behind your cloak as you went to find your bedroll. Gandalf had miraculously produced a spare and he let you have it your second night with the company. You were grateful for that, as the dirt and rocks you slept on the first night left you with a nasty knot in your back. It did take much time to find your place. However, instead of being placed in between your usual two bodyguards, your bedroll was placed a bit away from them. You always told them that you felt more comfortable by the fire, as the nights got incredibly cold and the fire did much to warm your body. But they persisted in moving you bedroll next to theirs. Tonight, however, you noticed a difference in your sleeping arrangements; Bilbo had made himself comfortable next to your spot, the two princes who usually slept new you set up further away. You frowned at this, noticing how distant the two had recently been. 

"Lovely supper, y/n." Bilbo praised, patting you gently on the shoulder as you sat down next to him. You shot Fili a discreet look, hoping that the prince would know why you suddenly had a new addition to your group and he was situated further away, but he merely shook his head. In all honesty you didn't mind Bilbo's present, but he usually wasn't one to sleep close to the others. His pack and bedroll were always set further away from the others and closer to the trees, but tonight something spurred him to move and now he was next to you. "You know, I've been thinking about something." Bilbo's words pulled your attention away from Fili, your fingers gripping the front of your cloak while you noticed his fingertips drum against his thighs. You cocked an eyebrow in response, watching as he rummaged around in his pack for something. "Ah, there you are. Here."

A thick book was shoved into your grasp, it's leather binding feeling smooth against your palms. Your eyes blew wide at the sudden gift, and you looked between the gracious Hobbit and the book in your hands before smoothing your fingers over the leather. There weren't many details on the front or the back of the book, but a few leafy patterns and branches had been carved expertly into the cover, and the dark red dye that had been added made it seem all the more worn out and used. But it's pages, you noticed, were crisp and clean. Not a single ink stain to be found. "For you to write in." Bilbo explained, his nose twitching in delight when you ran your fingers over the pages. He had set a quill inside the empty book, and a small jar of ink was held delicately in his hands before he held it out for you. You eyes were swimming with shock, your mouth hung open in awe as you reluctantly reached to grab the jar from his grasp. 

Your actions must have been to slow for him, for he gave a small scoff before gently grabbing the back of your hand and curling your fingers around the cold glass jar. You flinched at the feeling of cold glass against your palm, but held to the jar tightly before retracting your hand to your chest. Bilbo watched as his gift produced a grateful smile from you, and he nodded once before leaning back, his elbows supporting his weight. Once again you went back to marveling at the gift, but your attention was drawn away from the leather and fresh pages when a loud snore broke through the camp. You grimaced when your eyes landed on Gloin, his mouth parted as he let out another loud breath. Fingers moved quickly to open your book, and you carefully set your now opened jar of ink on your knee before grabbing your quill and dipping it inside the jar gently. Bilbo chuckled as you went to work, whether you were drawing out the scene or jotting down words he did not know, but he was glad that you liked his little gift. 

"You've got to hand it to the lass."

From his place next to the king Dwalin grunted, his pipe held securely between his teeth as he watched you through dark eyes. Thorin made a small hum for him to continue, but kept quiet nonetheless as he crossed his arms over his chest, his back resting against a fallen tree. "She's persistent." Thorin did have to admit that you were getting along fine with the dwarves, but that didn't mean he had to like it. Thorin had made a promise when you first joined them that as soon as they reached suitable civilization, you would be left there. But he noticed how much more lively his company had become since you opened up to them. Even Bifur, whose words had only been translated by Bofur a handful of times, seemed less grumpy with you in the group.

"Aye," Thorin grunted in reply after some time. His thick fingers juggled his metal key to Erebor, yet his watchful eyes were trained on your form once again. To the left of you sat Bilbo, the hobbit watching as you continuously scribbled in your new book, your eyes dancing across the group of sleepy dwarves. Further to your right, separated from you by another dwarf and a log, sat his nephews. Fili was messing with one of his knives while Kili, he noticed, struggled to keep his sorrowful eyes away from you. A frown pulled down Thorin's lips as he looked to his youngest nephew_,_ his eyebrows knitting together and his fingers setting down the key as he thought about their earlier conversation_. _

_"You are not some guard dog, Kili." Thorin's voice was hard and his gaze was piercing as he gave his nephew another scolding. Though while usually the brunette would take the heated words, he fought back, his lips parting to argue. _

_"She is defenseless, uncle!" Kili scoffed, still not believing that his uncle would be so cruel to you. Thorin has somehow learned quickly of his and his brothers pact to watch over you, and he wasted no time in telling the both of them off for it. If you were to travel with them, you were to hold your own, not feed off of others and their compassion. "We cannot just leave her to fend for herself when she hardly even knows—"_

_"You follow her like a lovesick fool, as does your brother." Thorin hissed, his words cold and biting. Kili snapped his mouth shut at the backhanded comment. He kept his chin high though, refusing to back down even though his heart thumped with disappointment. Thorin let out a sigh when he saw his nephews reaction, and he set a heavy hand against Kili's shoulder. He didn't want to sound so harsh, but he couldn't think of any other way to get Kili to understand. "You are distracted, as is your brother." At the mention of his brother again Kili looked over to him, watching as he laughed along with something that Bofur had said. Thorin grabbed his attention again, his hand squeezing his shoulder before he spoke. "I'm doing what's best for you, you must know that..._"

Thorin was sure that Kili had informed his brother of their conversation. It was easy to tell that his words affected him, as every since they had started their journey again from that stop Kili had been acting distant, not just towards you, but towards him as well. Another sigh fell past Throin's lips, a hand falling heavily onto his shoulder before he looked to the ground. "You mustn't judge them for caring, Thorin." Balin's voice reached his ears, soft and kind. "You taught them to be mindful of those who need help. And if I'm wrong— which I don't think I am— y/n fell into that category when they first met." 

Thorin knew Balin was right. Not just Fili and Kili, but each one of the dwarves had been taught to take care over those who needed it and to make sure everyone could be as safe as possible. So no, he didn't blame his nephews for taking a liking to you or wanting to protect you. He blamed them, though he knew deep in his heart it was wrong, for becoming immersed in _just_ you. "Try not to be so harsh on the lass." Thorin felt surprise run through him when Dwalin let out a small grunt of agreement, his eyes dancing over to the burly dwarf to catch his nod. Thorin quirked an eyebrow at this.

"She's adjusting well." Dwalin suddenly pointed out, his eyes dancing over the fire and towards you for a split second before he looked to the ground. "At least she's trying to pull her own weight, Thorin." Dwalin shifted in his spot, his fingers pulling his pipe out of his mouth as he leaned his elbows across his knees. Though earlier in the journey Dwalin had agreed with Thorin's statements; that you would only hold them back, he felt a wave of compassion wash over him the more he saw you begin to work along with the dwarves. Though you mostly kept to yourself, you were strong willed. Always keeping your head high when Thorin barked at you, or always having a smile ready when someone asked you for help or told you what to do. In a way, Dwalin was proud to see you adjust so well to this new world. Though he would never admit it out loud.

Fili watched you scribble in your new book from the corner of his eye. Kili's words echoed in his mind, the harsh words that his uncle had told his younger brother biting at his heart. Though he knew it was foolish to follow after a girl as they were doing, he didn't mean it to come off as lovesick. Neither of them did. They just wanted you to feel as comfortable as possible and be protected. You had barely any idea where you were, and he doubted that you knew how to properly defend yourself. What if an orc pack was to attack? What, was he going to just let you die by the hands of those filthy creatures? No, he didn't have the heart to do it. His blues eyes danced over to his brother, who was silently sitting next to him as he whittled away at some chunk of wood he had picked up off of the ground. Fili could tell how affected he was by Thorin's words. His whole demeanor had changed from one of a young dwarf to that of a sad old brute. 

But that's just what Kili was; a young dwarf who needed to keep his mind occupied in some way. Fili couldn't deny that yes, maybe Kili was focusing on you more then he ought too, but it wasn't necessarily a bad thing. It wasn't long ago that he had acted the same way, but he grew out of his silly little antics, and he knew that sooner or later Kili would too. After letting out a sigh Fili dug his elbow into his brothers side, the latter dropping his chunk of wood with a grunt before shooting a glare in his direction. "What?" Kili snapped, causing Fili to shoot him a stern look before he nodded in your direction.

"Go talk to her."

"Uncle Thorin said that—"

"Oh Mahal, forget what uncle Thorin said." Fili hissed, keeping his head low and avoiding eye contact with the others. His fist curled around the collar of Kili's coat, his fingers lightly digging into the side of his head. "I can see that she's worried about you, as you have been avoiding her since our previous stop." Upon hearing of your concern Kili found his eyes traveling towards you, and a small smile pulled up his lips when he saw you had finally stopped your scribbling to look over at him, a flush covering your cheeks at having been caught. Kili, however, soon shook his head and frowned again when he remembered his uncle's words. He pushed Fili's hands off of him and let out a disgruntled huff.

Kili remained silent when Fili let out a frustrated groan. Sometimes he never did know what went on inside his title brothers head, but he looked up to Thorin, they both did. So whenever he told them something or gave them an order they followed through without any complaints. This time, however, Thorin was wrong, Fili had decided. The golden-haired prince finally pushed himself to his feet, and shooting Kili one last look he stomped over to you, falling into the spot next to you with a huff. You immediately acknowledged the dwarfs presence, a warm smile pulling up your lips as you closed your book after setting a make-shift bookmark onto the pages. 

"Mind if I set up over here, y/n?" You took notice of the agitation that settled on Fili's face, his lips pulled down in a small scowl. Your fingers grabbed a hold of his hand, and you removed the glove that covered his palm before placing your fingers onto his skin. Fili watched as your fingers moved delicately across his calloused skin, a small smile replacing the frown when he felt how smooth your skin was. It was shocking to him how fragile you truly seemed to be, how your skin remained unmarked throughout the journey and even beforehand. How could someone wake up in a forest without a single cut or bruise? It was astonishing.

**I DON'T MIND.**

Fili gave a thankful nod at your agreement for him to stay, but as he went to stand again to fetch his things, the grip you had on his hand tightened, pulling him back to the ground. He looked to you in concern at your actions and he opened his mouth to question you, but you fingers moved against his palm again and he snapped his mouth shut. **KILI TOO?**

His lips pursed at the mention of his stubborn brother, his blue eyes drifting over to where Kili was sat. "He's... probably not coming tonight." Fili knew what you were asking. The frown on your face that his words produced was something he didn't like. The bright look in your eyes faded quickly when you finally dropped his hand, your fingers grabbing a hold of your book again before you wrapped it shut with a leather cord. Kili was the first one who you had actually talked to in the group, the first one that you had opened up too. You felt comfortable around the prince, well, more comfortable than the others, and it hurt you to see your friend grow distant after only a couple days. Fili kept his eyes on you for a moment as he stood, his fists clenching and unclenching a few times by his sides before he looked away and went to grab his bedroll and pack. Kili kept quiet again when Fili neared, the latter giving his brother a heavy glare as he came to a stop next to him. 

"Obviously she won't tell you—" Fili made sure that his brother could hear his words, his fingers grabbing a hold of his things and shoving them haphazardly into his pack. "— but y/n cares about you." Kili's knife froze against the now small lump of wood in his fingers, his eyes just barely raising to look at his brother. A look of disappointment had hardened Fili's face. One that Kili had never seen on his brother before. "Brother, you were the first one she opened up too— now you're not even talking to her." 

"She has you," Kili finally responded, his brown eyes burning when he finally locked gazes with his brother. "She has Bofur, and Bilbo and the others too." To support his statement Kili gestured back over to where you were sitting, seemingly chatting away happily with Bilbo as the hobbit began to settle down for the night. Fili scoffed at the poor excuse. Honestly he was surprised at how hard-headed Kili was being, but the apple didn't fall far from the tree, as everyone in his family had a bad habit of being incredibly stubborn. "She doesn't need everyone waiting for her beck-and-call."

"Do you hear yourself right now?" Fili was about ready to deck his brother in the jaw, hoping that maybe if he hit him hard enough Kili would listen or understand. But Kili looked away again, dropping his knife and lump of wood to the ground with a soft thud as he crossed his arms over his chest in defiance. "Y/n doesn't need us to wait on her; she needs someone to keep her company, to be her friend you _wazzock_." 

"I'm not a—"

"But you're acting like one." With one last shaming look, Fili spun on his heel. Kili felt his face fall as he watched his brother leave, his fists clenching angrily by his side. He knew that what Fili was saying was right; he shouldn't throw away a new friendship because of something that his uncle had said. But Kili thought that Thorin saw him as a foolish young dwarf, and he didn't need his uncles thoughts of him to be filled with anymore disappointment. The brunette dwarf cast a wary look in your direction, lips pursing together when he saw how your face fell when Fili explained that only he would be joining you tonight. Your countenance changed; your face wrinkled with dismay as you shifted on your bedroll, a ghost of a smile barely making an appearance when Fili placed a comforting hand against your shoulder. With one last glance Kili turned away, tucking his blanket up under his chin as he settled down into his rebroll for the night. 

"I bet by midday tomorrow he'll be talking to you again." Fili's voice was soft to your ears, his arm giving your body a small squeeze after he had set up his bedroll again. He had shed his coat again and hafplaced it over your legs as he had done the first night when he saw your body tremble in the cold. You gave him a grateful smile, raising your cold fingers to your lips before puffing out hot air to warm your skin. The fire was still blazing as Oin, who had been put on first watch for the night, stoked the flames and added more logs when needed. 

You kept quiet, leaning your head gently against his shoulder. It bothered you, knowing that Kili was refusing to speak to you. You noticed his change in attitude after the talk he had with Thorin, and you didn't need Fili to tell you anything to know that his uncle had something to do with Kili's cold-shoulder towards you. Your eyes were low, watching the flames dance against the wind and devour the logs as you listened to the group. All but you, Fili, Kili and Oin had finally fallen asleep, each dwarf letting out a series of loud and somewhat quiet snores. Even Bilbo was sound asleep now. Bilbo was taking longer than you were to get used to the forest, but after he explained his life in the Shire and how hobbits usually lived, you understood where he was coming from. But now he seemed quite used to sleeping on the ground, his curly hair splayed messily across his little pillow. He seemed warm under his blanket, and suddenly you were thankful that Fili was next to you. 

"Don't think too hard about it, y/n." When Fili squeezed your shoulder again you looked to him, seeing a small smile pulling up his lips. "Kili's still young, not that that's an excuse, but he looks up to uncle." You watched him as he spoke, his blue eyes sparkling in the flame and his blonde braided mustache bouncing as he smiled. His words were soft when he spoke of his uncle, and you could feel the admiration he too held for the Dwarven leader. "Just give him space; he'll come back." 

You didn't miss the comforting hand that grabbed a hold of your fingers, your heart soaring with gratification when you felt him press a gentle kiss against your forehead. You had never been more thankful for Fili's presence then you did in that moment. Though you didn't speak, he knew exactly what you wanted to say or possibly shout, and his words eased the worry in your mind. He was a warming comfort to you. Your fingers glided across the skin of his exposed wrist as he held in fo you, using that as your 'paper' as you drew patterns into his skin. You relaxed into his hold, sleep suddenly sounding delightful once again despite the hours long nap you had earlier that day. 

An amused grumble sounded in Fili's chest as he felt your body slowly relax, your eyes falling shut as a small yawn fell past your lips. His arm tightened around your body, and he tucked you gently into his side as you dozed off again. You immediately cuddled into his warmth, sleep slowly taking you under. Fili didn't move again until he was sure you were sleep, your even, shallow breaths fanning across his clothed arm as he shifted. Fili's eyes danced across the sleeping company as he held you, his gaze landing on his brother once again, only find a pair of dark eyes already staring back. He held his brothers gaze, narrowing his eyes in a way that said 'you should be comforting her, not me' and Kili knew that. 

It wasn't that Fili minded holding you, reassuring you and keeping you warm. But he knew you were more comfortable around Kili. He found it odd how you were calm around his much more rambunctious brother, but he didn't question it. Within seconds Kili averted his gaze, his arms tightening around his body before he tried to will himself to sleep. Fili bristled with annoyance at the gesture, a scoff coming from him as he shook his head. He hated how stubborn his brother could be. As the snores around the company grew and the night waned on, Fili too found himself being pulled under, his eyes dropping low as his mind went foggy. He made sure you were tucked snugly into his side before he finally drifted off, his coat keeping you warm and his arm protective over you body as a deep sleep fell over the tired company.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, thank you for reading this little fanfic of mine!! I hope that you are all enjoying it!!


	3. Finally Fitting In

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m super sorry for such a long wait on this!! I haven’t had the time to exactly post and what not, nor to write, but hopefully the next chapter will be up sooner!! Thank you all for sticking around!! 
> 
> Once again, thank you all for stopping by and taking your time to read this!! I appreciate it!! Don't forget to leave a kudos if you haven't already, and let me know down in the comment what you thought about this chapter.
> 
> I'm still trying to figure out who to pair her (the reader) with, but I'm stuck between Fili and Thorin. Who do you all think would be the better pairing??

__You wanted nothing more than to bundle up in a pile of blankets and fall asleep again. The rain that pelted your back and the top of your head soaked easily into your clothes, the cloak you had fastened around your shoulders doing little to protect you from the cold. Your arms were tightly wrapped around your riding buddy, Bofur, as you pressed your forehead to his back. His body was also soaking wet, as was pretty much everyone else in the company. A few grumbles of annoyance sounded out every once in a while, and if your throat wasn’t aching as bad as it was you probably would’ve done the same. It had been nearly a month since you appeared in Middle Earth, and it was easy to say that you had found a small place within the company of dwarves, along with the Hobbit and wizard. Surprisingly enough Thorin wasn’t as harsh to you as he had been the first couple of weeks, but he still seemed a bit hesitant and almost… meek around you. True to Fili’s words a couple of weeks ago, Kili had gotten over himself and finally talked to you again, much to your relief. However it wasn’t quite the next day that Fili had mentioned, it was more like the next week.

You wanted to chuckle at the awkward conversation that was held between the two of you— well, more like the awkward explanation that Kili had for his cold-shoulder towards you.

_“I just— I don’t want uncle to see me as… as foolish.” Kili seemed to want to look everywhere except for you. His brown eyes, while filled with regret and guilt for ignoring you and acting cold, were looking around at the rocks and the trees as he avoided your gaze. The quill in your hand had stilled upon an empty page of the book that Bilbo had given you, and it wasn’t long after you sat down away from the group that Kili approached you for the first time in a week. The grip you had on the quill tightened as you watched him, the skin under his stubble glowing red, as did the tips of his ears while his fingers fumbled with his sleeves. He looked like a hurt puppy. “That’s not an excuse though, I know. And I apologize if I’ve upset you. I won’t hold it against you if you don’t want to forgive me just yet, but I just wanted to see if there was any way that I could—“_

_The sound of your laugh froze Kili in his spot, and when he finally looked over to you since he started his rambling he saw a smile pull up your lips. Confusion ran hot through his body and his eyebrows knitted together as you continued to laugh. You should’ve been angry with him. He had been bracing himself for this conversation, the words running through his mind dozens of times before hand, and he had been telling himself that you would be crying and screaming— if you could scream that is— but you weren’t. “W-what? Aren’t you… aren’t you angry with me?”_

_Kili couldn’t seem to believe that you didn't seem upset or angry at him, which he wasn’t wrong to believe. You still felt hurt when he had avoided you. The pain in your heart was there, yes, but after many explanations from Fili you understood that Kili thought he was doing right by his uncle. He wanted to impress Thorin. So you left him alone to figure stuff out for himself. You had forgiven the young prince about the fourth day of him not talking to you, so all you had been waiting for, until this moment, was for him to come back and want to be your friend again. Your fingers grabbed a hold of one of his hands gently as you held your place in your book with a pressed leaf, and you felt the muscles in his palm tense when you pressed your fingers against his skin. Kili held in a breath as your cold fingers drew against his burning skin. Once you had finished writing Kili felt as if he was going to cry, and the smile that graced your lips was reassuring as you nodded._

** _I FORGAVE YOU. LONG AGO._ **

_A small cheer fell past Kili’s smiling lips and in an instant he had pulled you to your feet and to his chest. His face was pressed deep into your shoulder and his hands held your waist as he shook your body happily, and another laugh rumbling in your chest at his excitement. You gave his back a soothing pat before he pulled away, and you were shocked to feel his hands gently grasp your cheeks. “I’ll never act that way again, Y/N, do you understand?” Kili’s nose was inches from yours as he brought your face down to his, your eyes blowing wide when you saw the sincerity swirling through his chocolate eyes. “If I do, I give you permission to give me a proper smack across the face.”_

After that night things seemed to go back to normal between the two of you. Fili still kept a close eye on his younger brother whenever he was around you though. The golden prince still couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that Kili would do such a thing to you, ignoring you and acting as if you had some incurable and deadly disease. Sure, you were quite odd and most definitely the quietest person that they had ever met, but everyone in the company had some little ticks and quirks about them. Even after Kili had apologized and the two of you went back to normal, Fili couldn’t help but stick close by to you. He had taken it upon himself to watch over you and help you communicate with the others during Kili’s little tantrum, and ever since then he couldn’t deny how you had grown on him. Some way or another, you had caused a swirl of emotions to bury themselves deep within the eldest prince’s gut, and he would be lying to himself if he said that the feeling hadn’t grown at all. Even now Fili couldn’t seem to draw his eyes away from you, his lips pulling down into a deep frown when he saw how you shivered against the freezing rain and wind. 

“Here, Mister Gandalf!” Dori’s voice somehow reached your ears through the pouring rain, though it still sounded muffled. You just barely peeked out from behind your cloaks hood, yet the dwarfs figure was blurred from the rain and the edge of your cloak. “Can’t you do something about this deluge?!” You definitely agreed with Dori’s question. Gandalf was a wizard, surely he could do something about the rain. If not stop it, maybe raise the temperature just a little bit. The rain had soaked you to the bone, as it had done with everyone else in the company, and you had a feeling that if you didn’t get somewhere warm and strip yourself of your drenched clothing, you would end up with a nasty cold. Which would only make the ache in your throat worse. 

“It is raining, Master Dwarf!” You found yourself looking over to Gandalf as he replied to Dori, his words laced with slight annoyance. “And it will continue to do so until the rain is done! If you wish to change the weather of the world, you should find yourself another wizard.” You couldn’t help but quirk an eyebrow at the funny statement. Gandalf had never made mention of any other wizards before, so you never really took it upon yourself to question whether or not that there were any. 

“Are there any?” Bilbo’s voice suddenly sounded out, startling you a bit. You had been so caught up in trying to warm yourself against Bofur’s back that you had completely forgotten about the Hobbit. 

“What?” Gandalf questioned.

“Other wizards.”

You let out a low growl whenever Bofur gave your wrist a small pinch, just to make sure you were still awake, or possible still alive in weather as bad as it was. His fingers felt like ice against your already frozen skin, making you jump a bit at the feeling before you slammed your fist into his stomach lightly. The action didn’t do much damage though. Bofur merely let out a grunt while you settled back down again, your temple this time resting against his back as you watched Gandalf. “There are five of us.” The wizard spoke. “The greatest of our order is Saruman the White, then there are the two Blue Wizards…” You blinked rapidly when drops of rain fell down your lashes and into your eyes a bit, the figure of the wizard blurring. The pad of your thumbs dug into your eyes, and only after you could see again did you notice how Kili was laughing at you. You shot him a warning look as you growled lowly once more, your mood only worsening as the rain picked up. “Do you know, I’ve quite forgotten their names.” When Gandalf spoke again you turned your attention back to him, only briefly though, as Fili was waving a few ponies away to get your attention.

It wasn’t hard to tune out the conversation that Bilbo ensued with Gandalf as you turned to look at the waving prince, as the rain suddenly began to pick up and pelt your back and head harder. You winced when heavy drops of rain hit your cloaked head, more rain dripping into your eyes and falling off of the tip of your nose when you tried to pull your hood down further. Fili watched as you tried to shield your body from the rain, a prominent frown pulling down his lips at your discomfort. On any usual day he would’ve offered you his coat, but the fabric and leather were thoroughly soaked through to the lining, leaving him to weigh more than he did before the day began and keeping him cold against the wind. You were shivering quite violently, he noticed as he spurred his pony to trot next to Bofur’s pony. The older dwarf only glanced towards Fili when he matched pace with him, his floppy hat falling over his eyes a bit when he turned back to the front. 

“Are you feeling alright, Y/N?”

Your eyes narrowed to slits and one of your arms tightened around Bofur’s waist when you raised your other arm, both you and the prince watching as your arm, hand, and fingers shook underneath the weight of the rain and from the coldness that spread through your body. You gave Fili a look that he read as ‘what the hell do you think?’ before you squeezed your hand into a fist, trying to get some feeling back into it. “Right, stupid question, of course you don’t feel alright. Who does in this bloody weather?” Fili looked away as the tiniest of blushes flooded his cheeks. You couldn’t help the chuckle that rumbled in your chest at his small rambling. You had noticed how flustered Fili had been getting around you recently, and you couldn’t decide if it was because of how close the two of you had gotten the past few weeks or what. “I’d offer you my coat but.. well..”

You gave a small shrug when he swept his palm over the lining of his coat, only for it to drip with rain water when he showed it to you. It didn’t seem to help either that rain was still falling from the sky, however this time at a slightly slower rate. A thankful smile pulled up your lips at his offer. Even if by some chance that his coat was dry you wouldn’t take it. You could tell that even with how naturally high dwarves body temperatures were that he was struggling to stay warm in the rain. His lips were pressed into a thin line, his darkened blonde hair falling in soaking waves around his face and shoulders. The last of Gandalf’s explanation of wizards drifted through your ears as you surveyed the dwarf and it appeared that you had zoned out— your eyes sticking to his strong features and blue eyes— for the sound of Fili clearing his throat broke you away from your train of thought.

“Do you think the rain will stop anytime soon?” You looked up at his question, blinking some when raindrops threatened to hit your eyes. You quirked an eyebrow as you did so. Sure enough, it appeared that the rain was finally starting to slow, and as you peaked above the trees and into the sky your hood fell off. “Maybe we’ll get some sunshine after all.” You hummed in agreement when you looked away from the blue sky peaking through the grey clouds. Fili was smiling when you looked back to him, his fingers de-tangling his hair a bit while he locked his eyes with yours.

You held his gaze for a moment, and when he finally looked away you watched as his blue eyes danced over your features for a quick moment. You could see the way his lips twitched under his braided mustache and how his cheeks flushed with color. He turned away finally while his hands moved to wring out his coat and tunic as the rain slowed to a complete stop. The sun was peeking through the clouds and treetops now, providing little warmth to the company as they traveled. You watched Fili a while longer as a silence fell over the two of you. He truly was an odd dwarf, not that you knew many dwarves apart from the company, but it wasn’t a bad type of odd. In fact you quite liked him. Unlike with his brother, you felt calm and protected around Fili. It wasn’t that you felt unprotected around Kili— you knew that if the occasion arose that both of them would try to defend you— it was just a different kind of feeling. It was nice and warm and inviting. Your heart fluttered whenever Fili was next to you, and your body felt warm. It was an odd feeling you got when you were around him, just as he was odd, but you welcomed it nonetheless. 

Hours had passed since the rain ceased and still Thorin lead you further down your intended path. The sun was burning hot against the company’s backs now, and soaked cloaks and drenched hair had been dried and braided back to keep out of the faces of the traveling dwarves. By now you felt as if you had a good idea on how to stay comfortable while riding a pony, however your techniques varied depending on which dwarf was your riding buddy. Only one stop had been made earlier on, to allow the dwarves and others to stretch and have a light snack. And now you were on your second. Thorin had declared a while back that this stop would be a bit longer than normal, though he didn’t state his reason for that, and most of the dwarves cheered at the statement.

Your cloak was hanging neatly over a branch as you rolled the sleeves to your tunic up. After weeks of traveling with only one pair of clothes, you were gifted with another set of clothing until you had a chance to clean your own. The tunic was slightly big on you, the hem reaching your upper thigh, and the trousers you had on hung loosely against your legs. You were as grateful as ever for the clothing. And it seemed that Ori was knitting you a sweater as well. You opposed of course, writing down that he didn’t need to waste his yarn and his time on fashioning something for you. But he insisted. 

“You in there, Y/N?”

You shook your head and pushed Kili’s hand away from you when his knuckles knocked against your forehead. The sword in his hand glinted against the sunlight as he backed away. You looked down to the matching sword in your hand, your fingers tightening around the hilt as you weighed the weapon in your hand while inspecting the blade. The dwarvish sword certainly was quite heavy. Your arms struggled to lift the heavy metal each time you raised it to defend yourself from Kili’s weak attacks, and you had a feeling that if he had been using his full strength that you and the sword would’ve gone flying at a particularly high blow. But as time went on it became easier for you to lift the weapon. This was only one of many training sessions that the princes had put you through. At first they were hesitant to teach you to wield a sword, but you were a persistent person. You felt bad enough that they were always watching over you, ready with a raised bow and drawn swords to defend you from an attack. Though you appreciated it at first, you grew to hate it as time went on. You didn’t want to be defenseless anymore, to constantly rely on them to protect you. So you asked them to train you, to show you how to fight and wield a weapon. And they did.

“Remember to keep your elbows in, Y/N.” Fili called from the sidelines, his hair bouncing around his face while he nodded after he saw you correct your stance. "Feet apart— like that!" It had been hard for you at first to learn the fighting style that the dwarves used in battle. You found you had to tweak it here and there, as your body wasn’t quite the same as theirs was. And you were proud to say— as were Fili and Kili— that you had come along quite well with your training. Be that it may have been only a couple of weeks and that you still weren’t as steady as you would’ve liked, but you thought you could wield a sword fairly well. 

Metal clashed against metal as Kili brought his sword down again, your knees buckling ever so slightly when the weight of it hit against your own sword. Sweat lined your forehead and dripped down your back as you deflected another blow of his. He didn't seem to be any better. He had shed his coat and was in his tunic, and you found it a bit surprising that he was working up a sweat as you sparred this time around. You watched the way Kili held himself as he went to attack again, his shoulders squared as he has taught you, but his body was oddly open for someone in ‘battle’. You quirked an eyebrow when you realized he small mistake, and suddenly feeling a bit adventurous, you took a step forward before locking blades with his. Sparks ignited suddenly when you slid your blade against his own, and you couldn’t help the triumph that burned in your chest when you saw Kili’s eyes widen when you hooked the tip of your blade against the hilt of his sword and pushed him back a bit. With a flick of your wrist his sword was knocked out of his hand and crashed to the ground. You locked eyes with him, your heart swelling with joy when you saw the disbelief swimming through his, and his hands raised in surrender when you stepped forward to set the tip of your blade against his neck gently.

You were unaware of watchful eyes as you and Kili sparred, so when a chorus of claps and cheers sounded throughout the camp at your small victory, your eyes blew wide. Kili clapped his hands along with the others as you dropped your sword to the ground with a huff, your arms now shaking from holding the heavy weapon for too long. “Well done, Y/N!” Kili’s hand landed heavily against your shoulder after he retrieved his fallen sword. “You’re getting stronger everyday, don’t you think so uncle?”

The temporary camp grew quiet as they all looked towards Thorin. His eyes were set upon you and Kili, and it seemed that the little sparring match between the two of you had interested him as well. You suddenly braced yourself for his words when he looked to you, his piercing eyes running over your sore and sweat-lined body. You knew that Thorin was an exceptional fighter, if not that best within the company, and surely he was bound to insult you on your poor form or lack of upper body strength. It was true that he wasn’t as cruel as he was when you first joined the company, but you could still sense a feeling of hesitation that Thorin had whenever he looked or spoke towards you. You couldn’t help but shy away from his gaze as he continued to silently watch you, your hands shakily picking up your fallen sword to place it back into its scabbard. 

“Her form is quite odd,” Thorin’s voice finally sounded out and your breath lodged in your throat at the dulcet tone. “And she’s not quite holding the sword as she should, but—“ You froze hearing his last words. You couldn’t help it as you I looked over to him again, and to your surprise you found him staring straight at you. His eyes were shadowed by his eyebrows as he observed you, his arms crossed over his broad chest. You could feel yourself bristle under his stare and for the longest time you were sure that he wasn’t going to continue. But when you saw his lips twitch under his beard, you could’ve sworn your heart jolted. “— you’re improving, Y/N.” Thorin’s voice seemed lighter as he spoke directly to you, and the company of dwarves all seemed a bit surprised at their leaders sudden change in attitude, yet a few of them hummed in agreement to his next words. “You are doing well.” 

The company went quiet when Thorin gave you a small nod. Your eyes blew wide at his compliment, and you wanted to run for the hills when you locked gazes with him. You couldn’t read the expression he had on his face, and his eyes were once again shadowed, but something was swimming in them, something you had never seen before. Something almost soft and warm. Moments of silence passed before he finally turned away from you to address the company, yet you kept your gaze on him. “We leave in ten minutes.” Thorin’s eyes fell upon you for a second more until Dwalin called him away, and it wasn’t until a hand was placed against your shoulder did you look away from the dwarven king.

“Told you he’d warm up to you eventually.” You looked to see Fili smiling warmly at you, his fingers digging into your shoulder slightly before he held out his canteen. You accepted the drink with a smile, the cold liquid soothing the ache in your throat and wetting your chapped lips. After handing him his water back you rested the weight of the sword in your hands again. “He’s right you know,” As you gripped the hilt with your fingers you looked to Fili in question. A dull ache settled in your arms as you tried to lift the weapon again, and you were soon to give up on lifting it, instead opting to sit against a rock as the prince continued. “You’re getting better, and stronger too.” To make his point Fili’s fingers gently kneaded your growing biceps and his lips spread into a smile when you blushed and pulled away from him. 

“I agree!” Kili had come to your other side, his hair having been braided back and away from his neck to cool him off some. He took the spot next to you on the rock to rest for a moment. “In no time at all you’ll be as good a fighter as anyone here— well, except for Bilbo that is.” 

~~~

It wasn’t long before the company grew tired again. Shortly after your sparring match with Kili and after the two of you had cleaned up, the company packed up their things and mounted their ponies. Fili happened to be your riding buddy this time around, as Bofur seemed to want some time to himself. You apologized as best as you could for disturbing him, yet he didn’t seem to be put out about it, seeing as wherever you were, the princes were soon to follow. Most of your time on the pony was spent with you and Fili chatting away— well him speaking and you replying on his palm. After the first couple of hours of discussing different weapons, how to improve your fighting, and for some reason why hair grew at different rates on different people, Kili came by and started another conversation with Fili.

For the time being, as the two brothers talked, you leaned against Fili’s back as you wrapped your arms around his middle. You felt him tense for a quick second when your front fell against him and your cheek landed on the hood of his coat, but he was quick to relax again. Kili took notice of the small smile that pulled up his brother’s lips as he eyes subconsciously glanced back to you, but he only brushed it off as Fili just checking up on you. Occasionally the brothers switched from English to Khuzdul, and you assumed it was because they were discussing something that you didn’t necessarily need to know of, so you paid no mind to them. Your eyes fluttered shut when a gentle breeze blew over your body, rustling your hair and pushing it behind your ears as you relaxed while listening to them speak. The language sounded rough to you at first, but the longer you heard it being spoken the more you found it quite easy to listen too. And you’d be lying if you said you didn’t know a couple of words in their language by now. But that didn’t necessarily mean you could speak yet.

Despite the hours you spent trying to talk and formulate sounds, you still were yet to speak. The company had grown accustomed to the sound of your laughter and little grunts and squeaks that you used to communicate, but something was still blocking you from actually speaking. Gandalf had been cornered many times by Fili and Kili about it, the princes questioning him on whether or not he could help you speak again. But even the wise wizard was at a loss as to what was causing your voice to be lost. Many times had you sat down in front of the others while they sounded out words— some even in Khuzdul, much to your entertainment— yet each time you opened your mouth to speak, nothing except for a small gasp of air or a little squeak fell past your lips. Defeat was sure to settle in your heart after each failed attempt at speaking. But they were quick to reassure you that you’d be speaking again, and that all they had to do was “figure out what in Mahal’s name is blocking your voice!’.

Your memory situation wasn’t any better either. While yes, you were starting to see flashes of what you assumed was your home before your time with the dwarves, you still couldn’t seem to remember any names or faces. Outlines of glowing bodies is all you saw, and whenever your vision would pan to their faces, something like a static screen would shroud their faces and cloud your vision. At first you thought these dreams were of angels. But soon you could hear them speak. They were calling your name and you would respond, but you sounded like a child— no more than a toddler it seemed to you. So you assumed they were your parents. But that was all you could remember; glowing bodies and old homes, nothing more and nothing less. 

“We camp here for the night!” 

You jolted up when Thorin’s voice called out. You shook your head to try and rid yourself of the sleep that clouded your mind and fogged your eyes. You let out a sigh when Fili led your shared pony into a small clearing, yet your breath got caught in your throat when you saw the remnants of what looked to be an old house. Fili held on to your arm and waist gently as he helped you down from the pony, and once he was sure that you were firmly on the ground he gave you a smile. “Fili, Kili!” Thorin had another stern look on his face as he looked towards his nephews, and you failed to notice the quirk of his eyebrow when he saw how you lingered near Fili. “Look after the ponies.” He commanded, turning away from them and instead calling for another pair of dwarves. “Oin, Gloin— get a fire going.” 

Fili turned back to you with a sheepish smile on his face. “Looks like I’m on pony duty tonight.” He told you. He seemed to be hesitant in leaving you. You gave him a reassuring smile before grasping his hand to give it a small squeeze, your hair bouncing around your neck when you nodded for him to go. Kili had already begun collecting some of the ponies, while a few dwarves decided to help the prince lead their animals to whatever clearing he could find. “If you need anything— and it could be the smallest thing,” He gave you a pointed look. “Come get me or Kili, okay?”

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes at his statement, but to ease the seemingly continuous sense of worry that resided in him you nodded your head as you smiled. With that Fili turned to collect the rest of the ponies, and you once again found yourself looking towards the burnt looking house. Curiosity got the better of you and you soon found yourself wandering in between the pillaged home, your fingers dancing over the cracked wood. A feeling of dread and what felt like a touch of evil was quick to wash over you when you touched the wood, and you frowned when the feeling only grew the longer you stood in the house. Soon enough you found yourself standing behind Thorin as he conversed with Gandalf, the latter meeting you eyes for a quick second before he looked back to the Dwarven leader with a stern glare. 

“I think it would be wise to move on.” Gandalf stated, eliciting a small scoff from Thorin while you rose an eyebrow. “We could make for the Hidden Valley.” 

“I have told you already, I will not go near that place.”

You couldn’t help the confusion that ran through your body at Thorin’s words and the bitterness that laced them. Surely Gandalf knew of a better, safer place than in a clearing with a burnt house— one that made you feel worried no less— so what made Thorin so hesitant to go near this Valley? “Why not?” Gandalf seemed to grow more frustrated as the conversation went on, and for a second you felt bad for intruding on their conversation. You took a tiny step back as you grasped another pillar of old wood, hiding behind it to give them a bit more privacy. “The elves could help us. We could get food, rest, _advice_.” Elves? At this point you wouldn’t doubt that Elves existed, especially after spending nearly a month with dwarves, a hobbit and a wizard. But what was the look that Gandalf shot you when speaking of advice? Could the Elves have some ideas on why you couldn’t talk?

Hope sprouted in your chest at the thought, and the small smile that formed on your face grew as you looked towards Thorin as he went to reply. “I do not need their advice.” Thorin’s voice was cold and biting and though you couldn’t see the front of him, you were certain that his eyes were narrowed in a heavy glare. His words made the smile on your face disappear. You weren’t entirely sure he knew that you were standing behind him, but even if he did his words burned your hope of finding out why you couldn’t speak and then of talking again at the roots. If Thorin didn’t want to go see the Elves, the one race that might be able to fix you, then surely you would not go.

“We have a map that we cannot read. Lord Elrond could help us—“

“Help? A dragon attacks Erebor and what help comes from the Elves?” You couldn’t help the small gasp that came from you at Thorin’s words. “Orcs plunder Moria, desecrate our sacred halls, the Elves look on and do nothing.” A sudden bout of sympathy and sorrow buzzed through your body at his comment and you couldn’t help but feel for the dwarf. It was true that you had no idea what it was that the dwarves— namely Thorin— went through, and even though you were told the stories you never did quite understand it all. But the utter anger and woe that was sewn in with Thorin’s words troubled you. “You ask me to seek out the very people who betrayed grandfather and betrayed my father?” 

“You are neither of them.” Your eyes traveled to Gandalf when he spoke, his voice lowering when the touchy subject was spoken of, yet he still held a snappy tone in his words. “I did not give you the map and key for you to hold on to the past.” 

“I did not know that they were yours to keep.” That seemed to be the last straw for Gandalf. The wizard let out a huff before spinning on his heels and retreating. You noticed how he shot you one last look before he stomped away from the house and towards the edge of the forest, and it wasn’t until you took another step forward did Thorin finally turn away. You froze when his eyes finally landed on your figure. His eyebrows quirked upon seeing you there, yet his lips turned down in a scowl when he realized that you had most likely heard his conversation with Gandalf. Not wanting to anger him more you raised your hands in defense while taking a small step back.

“I gather you heard everything.” Thorin’s voice was low and somewhat timid when he finally spoke. When you didn’t respond right away he shot you a questioning look, one to which you quickly nodded before hiding your arms behind your back under your cloak. He seemed to deflate at your response, his chest heaving with a deep sigh. Thorin remained silent for the time being when he stepped forward and towards what used to be a fireplace. You watched him as he seemed to fall into a deep thought. His eyebrows were knitted deeply together as he zoned out for a moment, and what light was left from the shining sun seemed to darken the lines that were on his face. He looked so tired and so angry. For the first time since joining the company you found yourself feeling sorry for him, and you didn’t even realize that you had moved again until you were beside him.

When your hand was set upon his shoulder he jumped a bit, his eyes widening for a moment when he looked towards your fingers curling around his coat and then to your face. Your lips were curled up in the smallest of smiles and your eyes were swimming with something Thorin couldn’t quite understand. You weren’t sure what compelled you to do so, but you found yourself reaching for his wrist, and when your fingers touched his skin you gently turned his palm to the sky. He flinched at the sudden touch at first but he didn’t pull away. Thorin had seen you do this with his nephews nearly hundreds of times before, and he couldn’t help but wonder what it was that you exactly did when cradling their hands. But now that you were doing the same to him, your palm holding the back of his hand gently while your finger traced letters against his palm, he felt himself freeze. 

** ELVES ARE BAD?  **

Thorin’s eyebrows raised to his hairline at your question. It definitely wasn’t the one he was expecting you to ask, and it brought a chuckle to come tumbling past his thin lips. He merely nodded his head in reply to your question before he looked back to your hands, your finger now gliding across his skin again. However, instead of paying attention to the letters you were drawing on his skin Thorin found himself paying more attention to the feeling of your hand against his. Your palm felt rather soft as it held on to his calloused one, and your finger left small tingles against his palm while your nails dragged across the skin. It brought shivers to his spine. After a while Thorin had noticed you stopped writing and when he looked up to you, he found you were looking at him, eyebrows raised and lips curled into a small grin. “My apologies,” He looked away for a second, his free hand clenching by his side. You easily repeated your past actions and traced your finger over his palm again, this time with him paying attention. 

** TELL ME ABOUT THEM? **

“Maybe another time, Y/N.” Thorin failed to notice the frown that spread across your face when he dropped his hand from your grasp and he looked away. “For now, you should rest with the others.” You followed close behind Thorin as he walked to the edge of the burnt house, his eyes scanning the company of dwarves that were either sat around the fire or still unpacking their things. He hummed upon finding one dwarf in particular. “Come on, Bombur, we’re hungry.” 

After that you shared another look with Thorin when he turned to you, this time his eyes softening when you smiled before he stalked off. You watched him for a while longer before you stepped down onto a rock in front of the house, your back facing the inside of the old and ransacked house as you looked out to the dwarves. Dread still lingered over you when you were in the house, but it seemed stepping out onto the open lifted that feeling a bit. As commanded Bombur worked quickly to put together some supper. You weren’t quite sure what it was that he was cooking, but at that point you didn’t care. Your stomach was rumbling and aching with hunger. The dwarf was kind enough to relieve you of your duties for the night, allowing you to rest for the time being as he chopped herbs and splashed what few spices he had into the broth. You were thankful for him doing that, but silently promised that you would at least wash whatever bowls and utensils that needed to be cleaned at the end of the night. It wasn’t long before the sun fully set and disappeared behind the hills of the horizon, and soon enough the moon replaced it, followed by millions of burning stars. 

Shortly after Bombur had finished cooking and called for the company to come get their fill, you were sat snuggly between Ori and his older brother, Dori. The younger of the two had finished his supper in record time, explaining that if he did so he would have more time to work on your sweater. Dori, though smiling at the fact that Ori wanted to make something for you, scolded his brother for scarfing his food down so fast. You chuckled at the brothers, watching as Ori expertly worked his needles around the thick olive yarn as you scooped spoonfuls of your supper into your mouth. 

“He’s been gone a long time.” You turned away from Ori when Bilbo spoke up for the first time in a while. His gaze was fixated on the edge of the forest, the same spot where Gandalf had disappeared into hours before. You frowned upon realizing that his words were true. It had been quite some time since the wizard wandered off to collect his thoughts and calm down again, and in thinking back to his argument your eyes wandered over to where Thorin was sat. The frown on your face sunk in deeper when you noticed his lack of food and that he was isolated from the company. Even Dwalin was being social and was mingling with his brother a bit. 

“Who?” You stood up when Bofur questioned the hobbit. You had finished your own supper seconds beforehand, and as you handed him your bowl you saw how his smile widened. He must’ve thought that you were hungry for more, and while on a normal night you would’ve welcomed seconds, you shook your head. Instead your finger pointed towards an empty bowl that had yet to be filled with supper. 

“Gandalf.” 

Bofur seemed confused by your request at first, but when you motioned to where Thorin was sitting by himself, a fond smile formed on his lips under his beard before he replied to Bilbo. “He’s a wizard. He does as he chooses.” After filling the bowl with supper and handing you a small loaf of bread Bofur gave the back of your hand a small pat. He had seen the way Thorin’s attitude had been changing towards you little-by-little, and your little interaction earlier made his chest fill with pride; the dwarf felt proud that you were finally giving the leader of the company a chance. “Here, do us a favor. Take this to the lads." Bofur watched your retreating figure for a second before he filled and handed two bowls off to Bilbo, giving the hobbit a look before turning back to Bombur, giving his hand a small smack. “You’ve had enough! Save some for the rest of us!”

It seemed that everyone in the company knew of your intentions as you weaved your way through them. You could feel them smile at you or give you encouraging gestures as you neared Thorin, your cloak brushing against fallen logs and jagged rocks. Especially Balin. The white-bearded dwarf seeming to have glowing eyes as he watched you, his lips turned up in a smile as he talked with Dwalin. Your steps stilled when you were a few feet away from him, and it seemed he still had yet to notice you. His eyes were cast over the dark horizon and on to the hilly plains. He seemed deep in thought again, and it wasn’t until you cleared your throat that he finally looked at you. 

“Y/N. What’re you— oh…” Thorin’s eyes found your outstretched hands and the bowl of supper you were offering him. Upon looking to the food his stomach let out a monsterous growl. You weren’t sure if it was because of the exhaustion that was messing with your vision or the shadow of the fire, but you could’ve sworn you caught a blush settling under his beard and on top of his nose. “Thank you.” His fingers brushed against the top of your hands as you passed him the bowl of warm supper, and his lips turned up into a smile when he did so. Just as before your skin felt soft against his own. You gracefully returned the smile once he had his supper in his hands, and you gave a small nod before lacing your fingers together behind your back as you turned to leave. But he stopped you. “Y/N, wait. Would you sit with me. I would like to.. discuss something with you.”

You froze at his words. As you turned back to face him you wrapped your cloak tighter around your body, a sudden feeling of dread washing over you again. However whatever it is he wanted to discuss wasn’t something you needed to fear, it seemed, as the look on his face was soft and almost kind. His eyes seemed lighter in the moonlight and a sincere smile was on his face. Thorin had moved to the side a bit, allowing a small space for you to sit next to him. “Please, Y/N.” Your feet seemed to move on their own and soon you were standing in front of the spot, your knee just brushing the fabric that covered his own. You looked between the open space and him for a moment as a hesitancy filled your gut. This had been the first day that he had tried to engage in civil conversation with you, and even though you found his words oddly pleasant, you couldn’t help but shy away a bit, fearing that maybe he would revert to his old self and go back to hating you. But you compiled anyways, yet anxiety still settled in your stomach as you sat next to him. 

“I just want to… apologize for my actions towards you. I have not been the most civil dwarf towards you.” You kept your eyes on your fingers as you listened to his words. It was shocking to hear them fall past his lips in such a hurry as they did, and you didn’t doubt that if you were to be looking at him he wouldn’t be looking back at you. “I understand if you are not willing to accept my apology right away, as I know that since your arrival I have been nothing but cruel towards you. Truly I am sorry for the way I’ve treated you. Had I realized earlier that.. that you—“ By now your gaze had landed on Thorin as he voiced out his apology, but for some reason he seemed at a loss for words now as he clenched his jaw. His apology sent your heart soaring into the sky and you felt relief flood your veins. You could see he was still trying to figure out what to say next, and when gratitude sparked in your stomach you reached out for him again, your fingers curling around his thick ones. Thorin glanced to the way your hand wrapped around his own, and he couldn’t help but smile. “I do not deserve the patience and kindness you have shown me, Y/N.” 

It was true, he didn’t think he deserved how kind you had been to him and how patience you were. It was often that during your travels that his words were biting and intending to harm you, but each time you merely nodded and complied with his commands. Granted, you never really smiled as much as you had smiled towards him this day, but you never once defied him. Mostly it was out of fear that you didn’t go against him, but he always saw you pressing on. When you shifted your hold on his hand to press a finger against his palm Thorin looked down, his blue eyes watching as you drew soft letters into his skin. 

** YOU HAD REASONS. **

Thorin frowned at this. Yes, he did have his reasons for acting cold towards you, but that didn’t mean they were necessarily good reasons. He kept quiet when your fingers moved again, this time his eyes lingering on your face rather than on how your fingers moved against his skin. You eyes were shining with sincerity as looked down, your lips pursed and your teeth gnawing on the skin of your cheek every so often. The way your skin seemed to glisten in the moonlight was something that Thorin had never noticed before. Neither had he paid any mind to the way your hair seemed to fall in soft waves over your ears. A sense of longing suddenly erupted in the pit of his stomach, his fingers suddenly itching to caress the strands of your hair and comb them with his fingers. Yet he shook the feeling away when your fingers tapped against his palm two times, gaining his attention again. You went back to writing for the third time, and this time Thorin made sure to not let his eyes wander. 

** ALL IS FORGIVEN. **

“Are you certain?” Thorin’s voice was tight and he suddenly scooped your hand into his large ones. The look he sent your way caused your breath to hitch. “I know I cannot change what happened but I—“ You were quick to cut him off with a tight squeeze to his hand. Once again your lips were pulled into a smile, though this one larger than ever before, and you nodded frantically hoping that he understood. All at once he seemed to relax, relief causing him to heave out a deep sigh. His fingers tightened around yours once more and the smile on his face shone with gratitude. A peaceful silence fell upon the two of you shortly after that, yet your hands stayed locked together when you looked out into the twinkling stars that covered the sky. The smile on your face was soft and genuine, and for a moment you felt that after your warm supper, your new friendship with Thorin, and the sudden buzzing feeling of contentment in your heart that you would sleep like a baby tonight. 

But the moment of peace and stillness didn’t last for much longer. You jumped when Fili came bursting through the tree’s, face red and chest heaving as he stumbled to a stop as his hands dropped against his knees while he gasped for air. Your eyes blew wide at the sight and worry spread through you as you went to go to him, your cloak blowing behind you as you dashed forward. Thorin dropped your hand as you did so, but not before his fingers brushed against your palm as he let you go. You stopped, however, just by the fire when Fili jumped up, eyes wide with fear as he looked around the camp. When his eyes landed on you he reached forward, fingers beckoning you to come to him. Yet as he spoke, your blood ran cold with fear as you stayed glued to your spot. 

“Trolls!”


End file.
